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How to start dating and meet someone after a divorce. I feel like I’ve never really had a boyfriend. I’m shocked by my husband and by other men on dating sites who immediately propose meeting up, grabbing coffee, and so on. What should we talk about... My husband is really shy, he hasn’t had anyone else besides me, not even during the marriage. I, too, have only messages, nothing serious.
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Roza Habibullina
Usually you meet and get to know people in real life, but these sites seem to be for the rich and the poor, and I don’t understand them. I need a real relationship.
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Liliya
I found my husband on a dating site, and he immediately suggested meeting. What's shocking about that, in your opinion? How would you suggest we handle this and start rebuilding our relationship from here? ))
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Kamilla
There seems to be some kind of mismatch.
You're surprised by men—including husbands and other guys—who immediately invite you for coffee, while he’s shy with you.
And to the point: is it really necessary to spend a year texting about the weather, then another year on a call, and only then meeting?
You're not being invited to some hookup (that's, of course, up to you later), but simply to grab a coffee, go for a walk, and get to know the person.
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Yuliya
Well, no one is forcing you to have sex right away. I'm also divorced; my first husband was the man I married. I went on a few dates. I didn't meet anyone good there. I met my new husband through a friend. I don't know how it's possible not to know how to communicate. Do you have any girlfriends? I talked to men so openly and engagingly that they practically proposed to me for marriage without meeting me, saying it had never been so easy for them to talk to a girl. We talked on the phone. The truth is they didn't fit me; during that hour-long conversation I pulled so much information out of them that I knew everything about them.
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Elena
Kamilla Well, it's me, I think.
I guess I'm not quite the same; I'm not ready to dive in right away—it's scary)
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Kamilla
Kamilla As one option, this way of meeting people might not be right for you—it’s probably easier to meet in person.
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Viktoriya
My husband wrote to me on VKontakte a week after he had separated from his first wife.
He didn't even admit right away that he hadn't officially divorced yet.
Of course I was surprised at first that he got to know me so quickly.
But apparently, for men, things are much easier.
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a
It's a familiar topic.
After my husband's infidelity, I was afraid to start relationships with anyone, and I didn't want to.
I was in the middle of a divorce and signed up on a dating site just to chat with someone.
And I saw so much there 😂, but there were also decent guys.
We talked and messaged.
But one of them turned out to be very persistent.
He constantly offered to meet and talk in person.
I dodged him for about a month and a half, always coming up with excuses.
I just didn't want to.
To chat — yes. To meet — no.
But he didn't give up.
One day plans changed and I had to wait for a friend for a couple of hours while she dealt with something.
So I went with this guy to meet.
In my head I plotted a plan: we'd go for a walk, and like many guys, he would start pushing and trying to kiss me; that's when I would say goodbye and go to my friend.
Anyway, that evening my friend and I didn't end up meeting, but we ended up walking for six hours in the park with the guy.
We talked a lot.
I was so interested in him.
There was no talk of pressure or kissing.
On the same day, he asked to start dating.
I explained to him that I couldn't.
But he turned out to be very stubborn.
We got married, and now we're waiting for a baby.
Such a happy story.
And what I can say is: do what you think is right for you right now.
If you want to chat — chat.
But the main thing is to be yourself.
What stays with you is yourself.
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Elena
a Thank you :)
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Kira
My husband and I met on ICQ. We've been married for 13 years and have three kids. Nowadays, it seems the men aren’t the same. We should take our time getting to know people. And there's no need to jump into bed right away 😅. Feel free to chat—there'll be someone who's right for you.
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