Breastfeeding is a nightmare for me. 🥲 I'm trying to get it right, and it's gotten a little better…

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Breastfeeding is a nightmare for me. 🥲 I'm trying to get it right, and it's gotten a little better with one breast. But the other one hurts terribly. I suspect vasospasm. It hurts a lot both during and after feeding, so I'm pumping it now to give it a rest. That helps a bit. I don't know how much longer I can take this. My baby is one month and four days old, and this is a really tough situation. I've been thinking about what to do next. I really don't want to switch to formula, but I can't even explain to myself why. Is it for the baby's health? Or do I just not want anyone to know I couldn't handle it? Or is it hard for me to accept that things might not go according to plan? I have a perfectionist streak, and I can't sort out my feelings yet. I'm continuing to fight for breastfeeding because the thought is stuck in my head that it *has* to be this way and no other. But it hurts. I feel awful. I realize this isn't just physical anymore, but a big psychological issue too. I feel like I'll be judged and that I'm doing everything wrong. I'll try some more. But if it doesn't get better, I'll probably have to switch to mixed feeding or formula. I don't even know. I'm glad at least one breast has gotten a little used to feeding. But I don't understand what to do about the left one yet. This is just a post to vent and seek support. I don't need anything else. ❤️ And if anyone has dealt with nipple vasospasm and knows how to fight it, I'd be very grateful for advice.
Today is our first day of the fifth week. Everything seems to be going according to plan. I'm really…
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Lyubanya
Breast pump for the elevator and a little massage
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Tatyana
Lyubanya And did it pass? Or did it get easier?
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Shuticova Alionka
You know what I'll tell you? Last time I tried to be a perfect student. But it didn't work out. And formula isn't the worst thing. The main thing is to find the right one. Now everything worked out on its own. Breastfeeding. It happened naturally, without any... Don't make a cult out of breastfeeding. From my 10 years of motherhood experience, I conclude that the main thing is for the mom to feel good. The rest (kids, husband, pets 😀) will adapt. Feed for as long as you can and that's it. You're a smart cookie. Leave your boobs alone. Dr. Brown's bottles are fire. My son ate Frisalac. He got constipated, so we added Frisavom. Breathe out.
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Lyubanya
Lyubanya It got easier, but breastfeeding ended early due to stress
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Oksana Shevchenko
My dear, I just want to hug you 👻
Breastfeeding is good, yes, but not at the expense of yourself! You are the only one who can take care of yourself, and no one else! The baby feels everything (your mood, your pain). You could try consulting a lactation specialist. I have large breasts and large nipples, and my daughter used to latch on very hard (now I've learned to position her correctly). After feeding, my breasts "go in for repairs" (I apply Bepanthen to them).
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Nastena
Don't fight it or torture yourself—I struggled with my first baby too, but I had very little milk. I just let go of it all and went with formula. With my second, it was almost the same; I don't overthink it anymore. Don't stress yourself out.
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Antonina
Peek inside your mouth—it could be a simple 'asymptomatic' thrush on the nipples, in which case a single dose of fluconazole should help. Or it might be duct dysbiosis; in that case, take a probiotic containing Lactobacillus salivarius for a course. Both strains were part of Bioamicus Ultima. Individually, they're found in more affordable options like Lactobacterin and others. You can also add lecithin to your regimen—it reduces milk viscosity, making it easier to expel milk (swollen ducts narrow the passage, plus constriction from engorgement).
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Anastasiya
Take a warm shower and massage your breasts with your fists to express milk until you feel relief. Lactation is established between 1 to 3 months. It's important for the baby to breastfeed so your body can adapt to the baby's needs.
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Ekaterina Shipova
Hugging you..🫂 I haven't experienced this, but I had a severe blockage, with lumps and "beads" inside my breast... and cracked nipples. But I managed little by little and came up with a few rules for myself.
If you're set on breastfeeding, try experimenting with latching.
More specifically, with the baby's position. I found it worked best when the baby is "under the arm" – in this position, the breast empties the most.
+ When I had blockages, I did a light lymphatic drainage massage before feeding.
Try to find your way + try to observe the baby's latch.
When I offer my breast, I lift the nipple upwards, so to speak, and offer the breast when the baby's mouth is open as wide as possible.
If my "piranha" doesn't latch correctly (it hurts my breast a lot immediately), I forcibly open its mouth (put my finger between my breast and its mouth) and break the suction, then offer it correctly :)
If you can't find your own method of feeding, then don't force yourself.
Switch to formula. The feeding process should bring you joy
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Grigaraviciene Ausra
One breast always produces less, while the other is bursting. It happened the same way with my first baby too. Plus, there are still some blockages while the process gets going. I used massage and a breast pump until it felt better. Relief came at about 15-20 grams from each breast. My nipples hurt, of course. A lot. I used Bepanthen cream after every feeding and didn't wash it off. My baby also sucked weakly and woke her up constantly. There were tears from the pain and despair, everything was overwhelming.
Lots of good advice was given there. From my side, I'd add: if you're determined to continue breastfeeding, fight for it and believe in the good, if you have a sense of purpose for all this. If not — well, you did everything you could, don't blame yourself
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