My son lost one shoe from every pair! He needs replacement shoes for PE and school 😡😡😡😡 I'm shoc…

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My son lost one shoe from every pair! He needs replacement shoes for PE and school 😡😡😡😡 I'm shocked! He went to practice wearing one yellow shoe and the other was black. He wasn't even bothered by it. My husband and I thought about tearing him apart, but he didn't care. Today we searched the whole school—couldn't find them anywhere. How would they punish him? He shouldn't be ashamed to walk to school like that; at least he could wear a potato sack 😭 What should we do? I already want to make him a sausage out of him.
Do you wear panty liners every day? A colleague at work brought this up, saying it's more hygienic t…
Comments
Ekaterina
If it's the first or second grade, then understand and forgive :)
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Kristina Krasnova
Basically, he didn't do it on purpose...
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Olga
What age? If it's the first grade, it will pass
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Tanya
🤣🤣🤣🤣 We haven't gotten to that point yet. But, I've lost new sneakers during training sessions, and he brought home two pairs of gym shoes from school. Then yesterday, the "joyful" news – only one of his training t-shirts is left out of five, and only 2 out of 6-7 undershirts remain. He has no idea where he put them.
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morozka
It's okay, nothing serious happened. He's just being a kid. Losing things happens. Teach him to be more independent
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Ekaterina
morozka I'm so tired of teaching him. He keeps losing things! It's not a one-off thing.
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Tuti
Take his money and buy new shoes. My son lost his spare shoes in second grade, so I bought new ones with his money, and it was like magic! 🤣
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Ekaterina
Kristina Krasnova He's always losing things. That's why he rushes and isn't careful.
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Mariya
You've written about your son's quirks before, so this is a good time to reach out to specialists.
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Ekaterina
Ekaterina This is 3rd grade
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Ekaterina
Mariya To whom? And what should I say? Do you have memory problems? He's an excellent student and ranks 1st in chess. The doctor will look at me and twirl his finger around his temple.
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Ekaterina
Kristina Krasnova It's amazing, he walked around like that for a week and no one laughed 🫪
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Ekaterina Berezanskaya
First, we need to understand why the child is prone to consistently losing things and being totally inattentive, and only then think about punishments. As for the rest, if it's just a matter of carelessness with belongings, I would have punished them in one of two ways that were used on my husband and me in childhood. The first method (— nights are what's left. For my husband, this option was a terrible horror, because he's an idealist and a perfectionist. I absolutely didn't care about it due to a weakened sense of shame and dependence on public opinion. I could easily walk around in two different sneakers and not worry about a thing. The second method — new items at your expense. It was the opposite here. My husband was ready to empty his pockets just to avoid embarrassment (e.g., wearing two different shoes), while I was extremely stingy. It's important to note that the choice was only made when shoes of the same value were lost, not different ones (like a scarf and a boot). In that case, you had to splurge.
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Ekaterina
You too, if you don't know what irony is
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Kristina Krasnova
Kristina Krasnova Let her keep walking then
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Ekaterina
Ekaterina Berezanskaya This is such a disrespectful attitude. I asked why he didn't tell us, we would have helped him find it, and why he didn't go look himself, the answer was simple — laziness 🫪 Here I wanted to make a sausage.
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Ekaterina
Tuti He's broke. No money since summer. They don't influence him much.
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Nadezhda
Buy new pairs. My 6-year-old daughter lost her spare shoes on the way. She was upset, even though we didn't scold her.
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Ekaterina
Nadezhda He's not too worried. He's 9 years old and always losing things.
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Mariya Glebova
Mariya So what if she's a straight-A student and always gets first place? My daughter writes books and read Harry Potter in one sitting at 8 years old, but in reality, ADHD and absentmindedness are her middle names.
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Olga
Understand, forgive, buy boots for $1000, so you won't regret it.
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Ekaterina
Mariya I mean, he doesn't have any memory problems or any diagnoses. Otherwise, the commission would have found out, or the teacher would have said something, instead of praising the child, saying he's smart and well-behaved.
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Mariya Glebova
Mariya What I mean is that a good memory doesn't exclude a diagnosis. Especially not for a teacher. Where and when was the commission formed, and by whom were they referred?
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Mariya Glebova
Mariya There's also a term called "obedient and well-behaved children" which describes kids who are just that.
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morozka
morozka Hmm. Try seeing a psychologist. The thought of my infantile... Brrr. Girls, without any sense of responsibility...
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Ekaterina
Mariya At school, the committee, in the garden. There wasn't even a reason. Don't diagnose where there's no need and don't project your problems onto others. In this case, it's about irresponsibility and laziness. Now they've brought in some diagnoses 🤦🏻️ I just needed to vent
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Ekaterina
morozka And what will a psychologist do? Teach responsibility?
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morozka
morozka Parents and circumstances teach responsibility. A psychologist can guide you on how to do this.
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morozka
Mariya What are the fees at the school?
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Mariya Glebova
Mariya Kindergartens and schools don't send everyone to a specialist unless there's a reason. If you were referred, it means there were indications. A child walking around in mismatched shoes for a week – I understand the desire to push for neurotypicality, but neurotypical kids DON'T do that. There's a system where you, as an authoritarian mother, harshly scold for forgetfulness, which isn't just laziness. In general, all laziness has an explanation, a physiological one. Laziness was only criticized in advice, now it always has a basis. The psyche is like, 'Ugh, we can't stir up trouble again,' paralysis. They truly feel laziness, I'll tell you this: they'll quietly walk around in mismatched shoes, and before acting, they'll hit a brick wall with you – a wall built over years of absentmindedness. I've been through all this, but I can immediately spot such children. It was only with my second, neurotypical son that I clearly saw the gulf between children, the one called ADHD. They're from different planets.
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Ekaterina
Mariya What indications? These are standard requirements 🤦🏻️🤦🏻️ If there were any mental health issues or anything similar, we would have already taken action and seen a doctor. I'm all for solving problems. Don't fantasize. Starting with a sick head on a healthy one... It's crazy that you can't even vent your emotions without being labeled an idiot. 😀 Calm down!

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Ekaterina
Mariya
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morozka
Mariya These doctors are seen in the 1st grade, in the preparatory group of kindergarten. What does 9 years have to do with it?
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morozka
Mariya Yours is 9?
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Mariya Glebova
Mariya Are you talking about those, just for show? 🙈
There are commissions that look at children more closely, and it's useful for everyone to visit. And no one will see diagnoses from a simple "hello"; you need to work more closely with a specialist, often paid, who isn't just trying to meet a quota. To find the root of the problem and work effectively with the child. ADHD isn't a mental disorder, but a different way the brain works; these children are everywhere. But yes, it's easier to just scold the child and call them lazy, and then vent your emotions on the forum. Some women are amazing))
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Ekaterina
Mariya When I was writing about him going to kindergarten and then school, no one gave any recommendations that something was wrong with my son 😁 On the contrary, they said he was advanced for his age.
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