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Suppose your husband had a previous marriage and has a child who is now about 17–18 years old. The child currently lives with his mother (who filed for divorce and has remarried) and his grandmother. The child has decided to move in permanently with his father. He’s somewhat distant toward you—he says hello but otherwise keeps to himself, and no one has made a habit of celebrating his birthdays or other occasions with him. You also have several children of your own. If someone asked your opinion, would you agree to him moving in? How would you feel about it?
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LYuDMILA
No, thank you.
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Naziya sidiki
They're an adult now. It's okay for them to live on their own.
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Anna Olefirenko
It depends on whose apartment it is. There are many important follow-up questions. If the child has never had any contact with their father before and suddenly decides to meet him, I would be against it.
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Kristina
If it's just a whim, I might not like it. But if it's truly necessary, I understand and will accept it.
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Katyushka
I understand the concern, but it's my husband's child, not a stranger — so why not?
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Ievleva kseniya
No
I don't want anyone in my home right now. Thank you for understanding.
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Elena
I know this is complicated, but if your children all live with you, is there a reason his child can't live with him?
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Olga Dudkina
Talk with your child and explain that if they live in this home, they need to follow the house rules. At minimum, basic decency, respect, and polite behavior are required. If they aren't willing to do that, there may not be much to discuss — it's time to set clear boundaries and outline consequences.
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Elena
This is something to work out with your husband. The boy is likely just looking for a bit of freedom. Try not to overindulge him—if you do, he may soon want to return to his mother.
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Nataliya
Yes — of course. You don't have the right to stop your husband from having his child come to live with him.
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Ekaterina
I understand your concern. This is your husband's child, and as their father he should fulfill his parental responsibilities.
But what if, influenced by a future partner, he later tells your children, "You're adults — live on your own"?
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Nadezhda
Ekaterina I would never, under normal circumstances, allow my children to live with a woman who isn’t family — I would only consider it if I were on my deathbed.
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Nadezhda
Elena That makes sense — they're our children. I understand wanting to protect them. Would you feel comfortable letting your children go live with someone you don't know well, like a distant or unfamiliar aunt?
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Elena
Elena At this age, a young person can make their own decision—especially at 18. If they want to go, it's okay to let them.
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Elena
Elena Are you uncomfortable around an unfamiliar aunt but not around your biological father? What makes him different from your mother — after all, they're both parents. It's okay to have mixed feelings. Would you like to talk more about it?
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Ekaterina
Ekaterina God forbid someone ends up on their deathbed. I'm worried — what if the new wife forces the adult children out of the house so they can't be there to support or care for them?
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Nadezhda
Elena I understand, but the situation is different. How many cases do you know where children stay with their father after a divorce? I don't know any. In many cases, fathers step back and aren't involved in their children's lives.
P.S. The father of this child is an exceptional dad — he never left, has always helped, and will continue to help.
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Elena
Elena Let's not get sidetracked. I know who lives with their children's fathers and who is fully and actively involved in their children's lives.
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Olya
How is his relationship with your children?

After all, he's essentially your husband's own child. There's a chance he may move out of your home soon — he might be waiting until he turns 18.

You can use this time to build a good relationship with him and encourage his independence. Support part-time work or side jobs, especially if you hope he'll rent his own place when he turns 18.

He's a teenager — be supportive. He likely has reasons for wanting to move away from his mother and stepfather.
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