All parts of my story are already in my profile. Yesterday I had a meeting with the judge about the…

All parts of my story are already in my profile. Yesterday I had a meeting with the judge about the alimony lawsuit. I was there alone, but I think I handled it. I showed all the documents and evidence that my husband only transfers part of the benefits and doesn't send any of his own money. She asked me to gather receipts for expenses on the child and provide them at the first hearing. But here's the thing – I don't have enough money to show how much I spend. It's a vicious cycle. I'm not working, and my husband is the only one sending money. He sends 35,000 for both me and my daughter, but I spend 22,000 just on food. The rest goes to diapers, phone, hygiene, vitamins, and transportation. I'd love to spend more so my child could eat avocado, broccoli, mango, and red fish, or go to swimming lessons and developmental classes, but there's no money. Where can I get the money to prove I spend a lot on my child? I simply don't have the money for a spinal diagnostic, I've been suffering with pain for half a year, I can't afford new clothes for my daughter, and I even need money to buy things from Avito. My friend or my mom gives us clothes. The judge told me not to worry and to bring a printout of all the transfers from relatives and my mom, so the court can see that the child is being supported by the mother's relatives, and the father is only transferring part of the benefits. The benefits themselves are a whole other issue, and it will be very difficult to get him to give up the rest that he spends on himself. It's so unfair that it's the mother who has to prove she NEEDS money for her child. My husband doesn't lift a finger. He doesn't answer calls from the judge's assistant, he didn't pay for a snowsuit for the child, saying 5,000 for a winter snowsuit is too expensive, but he didn't offer any alternatives. I chose a winter snowsuit with sheepskin lining, two sizes larger so it would last for next year, especially since it has adjustable sleeves and legs. Honestly, I'm very angry and can't change the situation right now. Also, the date for the divorce meeting with the judge has finally been set. I've been waiting for this since September 17th. First, the documents weren't filled out correctly, then I had to bring a certificate, then the judge went on vacation. The secretary called and said that during the hearing, I can state that I don't want a reconciliation period, so the judge can issue a decree after 30 days. I hope it works out. My daughter still isn't going to daycare. I found another kindergarten a couple of blocks away that has a pool, so I don't have to pay for a private one. However, the director isn't in yet, and even her deputy doesn't want to accept the child without her. I've closed my self-employment. I'll bring the income statement and say I had to take on a side job to pay for consultations and legal assistance. Emotionally, it's very hard for me. I don't even have money for a psychologist. I won't ask my relatives because they're already helping me in every way they can. My brother's wife often babysits my daughter while I run to court. I don't even cry anymore. It's just sinking in that now it's just me and my baby, that our life depends solely on me, but she's so little. I really wanted to be with her until she was three and only then send her to kindergarten, but life changes, and you have to adapt to circumstances. Once upon a time, I was on my own, worked a lot, traveled, lived day by day, didn't save, just lived. I always had money for my own needs and wants. Now everything is completely different, and I'm scared it will always be this way, that I'll always need support, that I won't be able to stand on my own two feet because I'm weak and couldn't give my daughter a family, that I chose the wrong person, that I was just looking for love and found only pain again. The only thing that brings me joy in this world is my daughter's quiet "mama" whispered in my ear. It's only for her that I will fight.