I've mentioned before that my daughter isn't doing anything or studying, and on top of that, she con…

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I've mentioned before that my daughter isn't doing anything or studying, and on top of that, she constantly manipulates us parents with hysterics: 'I'm going to die, you don't need me, I'll leave,' etc. It's exhausting. She even gives me advice on how to communicate with her parents. My daughter barely spoke to her before, she didn't have time. She created drama for her because of this. But now she has free time, and they play online and talk on the phone + at school. And since they reconnected, everything's gone downhill: secrecy, she's constantly in a state of wild overexcitement, uses a lot of filler words, speaks in her words and intonations, argues with me, is always late. They've been talking more than usual, only two days, and I'm already only speaking in raised tones; today I even yelled. In short, she's turning from an adequate child into a 'nothing's right' kind of person, and she's breaking her routine. I'm not happy about any of this, but the forbidden fruit...
В «Детском мире» купила платье (сегодня 14-й день), срезала все бирки и ярлыки — у дочки на всей оде…
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Yuliya
Ugh, that's not good. I'd really like to limit that kind of interaction.
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Yuliya
Yuliya I've already limited things as much as possible. Before, she used to visit and they'd play together, but now none of that is happening. I let them talk on the phone, and she's already swamped with lessons and extra activities. She needs some personal time, but it stresses me out that they might do something unpredictable together.
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Yuliya
Yuliya My daughter sometimes talks with her friend's intonation too. Well, her friend is okay, just not a great student, and mine has also become more indifferent to grades.
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Lena
I steered my son away from a friend like that. They were friends, and my son never said he didn't want to go to school (he's a student now, but this happened when he was in 5th grade). Then one day, he told me, 'I don't want to go to school, I won't go.' That's when I realized who was influencing him. So, I had a very clear talk with him about that kind of friend. It turned out this friend only came over to play on my son's phone because his own was broken at the time. Once he got his phone fixed, my son wasn't needed anymore. Yes, I intervened, and now my son thanks me for it. Don't overlook anything, cut off ties like that.
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Biryuk Svetlana
Oh, it's going to be tough with friends like that, for you and for her (
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Yuliya
Yuliya It didn't really bother me that my friend wasn't learning, like, she didn't understand the material. But the fact that she's going off track and trying to drag me with her... I try not to slack off in my studies. I don't demand more than she can handle, but studying is her responsibility.
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Yuliya
Lena So, this girl often stays home, making up excuses, and she never shows up for tests. She's started faking being sick a lot so my daughter has to walk her home, almost every day. But my daughter has her own schedule, and sometimes those 15-20 minutes turn into her whole day being rushed.
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Biryuk Svetlana
Biryuk Svetlana I understand. Mine is like that too, and her friend isn't much help either...
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Yuliya
Biryuk Svetlana I just don't want that negative influence, I've already done my best to establish a routine and supplements for her so she has less time for nonsense. But no, there's always something.
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Yuliya
Oh, girl, she won't jump or do anything to herself, you can tell she's just trying to scare you. But I worry about mine, she can get pretty overwhelmed with emotions. My girl didn't even know or think about these things until her friend shared.
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Mariya
Oh, I'm so sorry((( I don't even know what to suggest. I had a "not so good" friend like that myself as a kid. I found her interesting, yes, and I knew she behaved badly and we sometimes did bad things, but we just clicked 🫣🫣. My mom sometimes hinted that I should reconsider my friends and talk to, for example, a well-behaved girl named Dasha, but I didn't pay attention.
So I think you shouldn't just let this go. She needs a good, well-behaved friend… Maybe you could meet a nice mom of a well-behaved girl at an activity group, and then you could spend time together at the park so they can get to know each other better and become friends ....
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Biryuk Svetlana
Biryuk Svetlana How many more of these will there be ((((
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kushner ekaterina
Exactly, sometimes a friend's suggestion can spark some thoughts. Everyone's mind is different in how receptive it is.
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Yuliya
Mariya So I recently sent her out to hang with the girls, they went a couple of times and that was it. They were even okay with it, but she finds it more interesting with this other person. Even though I've already limited her outings and visits from guests.
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Yuliya
I already point out her negative actions, especially towards my daughter. Once she said my daughter's drawing was terrible and that she couldn't draw like that herself. So, I calmly told my daughter that friends don't talk like that; they try to be supportive, even if it's not your best work.
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Yuliya
Biryuk Svetlana It can get even worse)
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Yuliya
But again, they're at an age now where they really need friends, they feel lonely and need someone close, but parents won't fit that role. There are probably no perfect friends; I've been through a lot with mine too, but there was no negative influence, like how to communicate with parents or thoughts about death. That was between us. And no one interfered in the relationship between an adult child and their partner.
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Yuliya
This other one is also trying, but my daughter is successful in her studies, extracurriculars, and school life. Her friend isn't, and she pressures her, saying her communication with classmates is poor, and that only she understands and supports her.
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Tatyana
But it's better this way than with that person.
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Yuliya
So the parents are also shocked by her antics, but they don't do anything as if it doesn't pose any danger.
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