Today was my first photoshoot in 10 years. I didn't like it. The photographers were polite, kind, an…

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Today was my first photoshoot in 10 years. I didn't like it. The photographers were polite, kind, and attentive. But it was still hard for me. My self-esteem is just at an all-time low. I don't like how I look. I feel uncomfortable being the center of attention. It's like the old me died. And I'm ashamed of this new me and don't want her. P.S. Even if you tell me a thousand times that I'm okay, it won't help.
Summer flew by, and it was a busy one. I was hoping to earn some money by September 1st, but it didn…
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Elenka
Why did you go to it anyway?
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Olga
Boost your self-esteem. Start with small things, little victories, joys… If you can't do it yourself, write a few words about yourself here, and we'll praise you.
You've already achieved the most important thing for yourself – you've survived this divorce, and everything will only get better from here on.
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prosto LYuDOK
It's already a step forward. Many can't even imagine it… keep going even when you don't feel like it
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Marina
Elenka I wanted to go
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Marina
Olga I'm thinking really, really deeply right now. Words won't help
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Marina
prosto LYuDOK Yeah. I thought I would feel better
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Zoya
Do you have a spare life?! Love yourself now ❤️ this is the most beautiful time 💯
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Olga
Well, you don't have to be going through a tough divorce to feel this way. Sadly, there can be many reasons, and they often stem from childhood. Divorces and other sad events just bring these underlying issues to the surface.
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prosto LYuDOK
prosto LYuDOK Eventually, quantity will turn into quality..
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Olga
prosto LYuDOK No, you don't have to. In these circumstances, you need to be gentle with yourself — don't rip off the band-aid, don't force yourself any more than you already have. Start with what truly makes you happy, what you enjoy and brings you pleasure.
And all these photoshoots — they aren't for everyone and not a measure of anything. What matters is how you treat yourself as a unique person, not a bio-robot who has to do everything like everyone else — if everyone else likes to admire and show off themselves, then you must too. You don't owe anyone that.
Be gentler with yourself. Go where it feels good.
There are too many things in life where you have to push through, through pain and hardship, and give it your all — like raising children..
Your relationship with yourself is the only place where you can be tender, gentle, and not force yourself, and no one will get hurt, and you don't owe anyone anything.
If you used to like something and now you don't, it just means the time isn't right. Try again in 5 years. Or in a year. Or whenever you feel like it. Or never, if you don't want to.
This is your own territory, you can do anything here. Even do nothing.
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