A friend told me that she has tons of work, 4 kids, the youngest is three. She works, hustles like a…

Translated automatically. Show original
A friend told me that she has tons of work, 4 kids, the youngest is three. She works, hustles like a horse, 6/1 schedule. She has her own business, profit isn't great, about 200k rubles net. And she's married. I asked why she's pushing herself so hard. You have a husband, you can take a break. And she said, well, he used to help with the business or the kids, now he's 'realizing himself'. An artist, you know, creativity, zero money. And she buys him the easel, brushes, paints, oil, canvases — all of it. She's like a worn-out horse, says she's sick but still at work. So the question is: why be with a man and destroy yourself morally and physically like this? For what? To show you have a man? And she defends him, I say, why do you need all this? And she replies, but how will he 'realize himself'? Seriously? He's 50, 4 kids, a mortgage, and he has nothing, his wife carries everything. I feel so damn sorry for her. And he's like a suitcase with no handle, useless, but too sad to throw away. There are so many women who endure so much, for what idea, it's unclear, for a dick and two balls? This is a reflective post. If you can't reflect, take your negativity elsewhere.
7 AM. A knock at the door. My ex is standing there, looking like a kicked puppy. I ask him straight…
Comments
Ruzanna
Maybe he has a lot of other talents 🤣
But anyway, if the family is okay with it, then everything is wonderful.
We live in an age of so-called equality. Many people beat their chest for it, right?
But you would hardly write a post on the topic "Here's a man running a business, taking care of the family and four children, and this woman is so-and-so, hitting the books/self-improvement/self-something..."...
Translated automatically. Show original
Tatyana Rubtsova
Overall, it's a typical family, it's just that the roles are often reversed – the husband is out working for days, and the wife is pursuing her career 😂 But in that case, no one calls the man a doormat; he's expected to provide for everyone from birth.
But here, she's fine with it, it's okay for her. And she doesn't care what anyone outside thinks.
Translated automatically. Show original
Nadezhda
Tatyana Rubtsova No. If it suited me, I wouldn't complain.
Translated automatically. Show original
Yulenka
Well, I'd separate the wheat from the chaff. "Working yourself to death" and having your own income is normal, in my opinion, and it has nothing to do with your husband's income. So, I can easily understand her on this point. I'm one of those women and I don't plan on changing anything about it!)))
But a man who has nothing, doesn't provide for his family, and still needs to be provided for – that's a whole different story. But that's her choice... if she likes carrying a man on her back, then so be it)))
Translated automatically. Show original
Ruzanna
Tatyana Rubtsova If I didn't like it, I wouldn't be with him and wouldn't buy brushes and canvases)))) It doesn't take much brains to chat a lot with girlfriends))))
Translated automatically. Show original
lanochka
If she didn't kick him out and gave him the opportunity to fulfill himself, then good for her, it means she's okay with it. Why can a woman fulfill herself, but a man can't?
Translated automatically. Show original
Tatyana Rubtsova
Tatyana Rubtsova On a global level, there are no official definitions or laws stating that only men should be responsible for the family or carry all the burdens. The definition of parents implies equal responsibility. Again, you don't live with them, so you don't know their household dynamics. Maybe he's a dad who's better than any mom? That's why he focuses on his home life while she works? I have friends where the moms aren't great at childcare or housework, so the dads work more, and the dad is everywhere with the kids, the house is clean, the food is fresh… Every family has its own way of doing things 🤷️
Translated automatically. Show original
Yulenka
Yulenka Not necessarily) My husband fully supports our whole family, including my daughter from my first marriage, but I haven't started working less because of it. I just like and find it important to have my own personal income.

Translated automatically. Show original
Natasha
Tatyana Rubtsova If she lies down, it means she's comfortable.
Translated automatically. Show original
Aygul
But you don't know, maybe her husband runs the household, picks up the kids from kindergarten, does homework with them, takes them to activities and clubs, buys groceries, cooks lunches and dinners, and does the laundry and cleaning. Someone has to do all this with 4 children. And the wife works and earns money. Everyone does what they do best. And the husband might not earn that 200,000, as they say, he can't jump higher than his head. So what's the point of the woman being with the kids and managing the household? Everything is fine in their family and everyone is happy with it.
Translated automatically. Show original
Tatyana Rubtsova
Tatyana Rubtsova And I don't understand people who complain all the time but do nothing about it. You can't rely on those people either 😂
Translated automatically. Show original
natalya
If you were writing about yourself, we could discuss it... But just 'ratting' on other people - well, that's a bit much 🙄🤷️
Translated automatically. Show original
Ruzanna
Ruzanna Me too. But I'm not her. And you're not her. And for them, this is their life, and it has the right to exist just like ours)))
Translated automatically. Show original
Nadezhda
Tatyana Rubtsova There can be no definitions, but if you are attracted to a man whom you are supporting while he is realizing himself, and you are sick and tired of carrying the family, then of course, yes, everything is fine. For me, a man is a strong rock, in my understanding.
Translated automatically. Show original
Elena
Why should we pity her? She's happy with how things are.
Translated automatically. Show original
Nadezhda
Tatyana Rubtsova Well, these are women who tolerate things. She's not happy, but she tolerates it and justifies it because staying alone is more shameful.
Translated automatically. Show original
Nadezhda
lanochka Maybe something then, when she's tired and can't cope anymore?
Translated automatically. Show original
Tatyana Rubtsova
Tatyana Rubtsova But men are attracted to women who have never worked, only remember polynomials from school, and pee clouds?😂😂
Translated automatically. Show original
Nadezhda
Aygul Well, the whole point is that according to the story, he's supposedly busy with art, and she's doing everything herself. That's the essence of her complaining.
Translated automatically. Show original
Tatyana Rubtsova
Tatyana Rubtsova And you wrote the main point – 'in my view.' But your view isn't a universal truth for everyone's way of life)
Translated automatically. Show original
lanochka
lanochka Because that's human nature
Translated automatically. Show original
Nadezhda
Elena Yes, this is more of a reflection.
Translated automatically. Show original
Nadezhda
Ruzanna Yes, the question isn't about that, but about how someone complains they're tired and can't cope, while essentially justifying themselves.
Translated automatically. Show original
Ruzanna
Tatyana Rubtsova Your imagination is running wild... You have no idea what it's really like, yet you've already made up stories / judged / felt superior. Classic.
Translated automatically. Show original
Ruzanna
Ruzanna Complained a bit, got the negativity out, and now I'm happy and joyful again))))
Translated automatically. Show original
Nadezhda
Tatyana Rubtsova Speaking from the data provided, again, reasoning...
Translated automatically. Show original
Ruzanna
Elena So many people feel this way, it's true.
Translated automatically. Show original
Elena
Elena She came over one day and started her usual complaint about how tired she is from working. My mom said, "Don't work, your two pensions are enough, we lived and didn't starve." But she replied, "How can I not work? Rome needs it, Lera needs it, Nastenka needs it. That grandmother travels the seas and won't buy them anything 🤦" So my mom said, "Then stop it, your two pensions are enough, the kids are grown up." She said, "You don't understand anything," got up, and left. She hasn't spoken to her parents since April.
Translated automatically. Show original
Tatyana Rubtsova
Tatyana Rubtsova And there's also the factor of how it was presented to you. You didn't check with a detector, right? She complained a bit and then went on to enjoy life. I have friends like that too, who are generally happy but still complain. Why do they complain? Well, it seems to be the norm...
Translated automatically. Show original
Elena
Tatyana Rubtsova Maybe he sells paintings 🤔
Translated automatically. Show original
Nadezhda
Tatyana Rubtsova Yes, that's understandable.
Translated automatically. Show original
Tanya
it suits her.
Translated automatically. Show original
Anna
I know a family where the wife worked and the husband pursued his passions. But! The husband was solely responsible for the household and children. The children grew up – now both work, and chores are split 50/50. I understand that kind of relationship. But if a woman is carrying the burden of work, household, and children on her own – why should she put up with this misunderstanding?
Translated automatically. Show original
Nadezhda
Anna Yes, that's the whole question
Translated automatically. Show original
Aygul
Aygul Some people are just born complainers, they love to whine and will always find a reason to grumble about how hard their life is
Translated automatically. Show original
Tatyana Rubtsova
Elena I had a friend whose husband was like that. She practically ironed his socks for him. Dinner was like in a restaurant, always fresh food… She constantly complained to me that he was ungrateful, that she was so tired… And I always asked her – does he even need all this?? She'd say – he doesn't care, he's happy with dumplings. Well?! He's happy with dumplings, so why are you doing all this?! And I, she said, can't do it any other way, I was raised like this, I have to… well then why are you whining?
And her husband even told her that he was tired of her overprotectiveness, that she wasn't like a wife in the relationship, but like a mom… So she started whining even more, that he didn't appreciate her care 😂 Meaning, they tell her directly – I don't need this! But she gets offended...
Translated automatically. Show original
Gasanova Aygyun
Is it worth keeping livestock for a slice of sausage? 😂
Translated automatically. Show original
Tatyana Rubtsova
Elena He left on his own.
From her perspective, he's an ungrateful jerk – she gave him everything, and this is how he repays her.
From his perspective, he was tired of not being heard and felt smothered by her constant supervision and control.
Translated automatically. Show original
Elena
Elena In the end, everyone has their own truth.
I wonder if she'll behave the same way in new relationships, if she has or will have any.
Translated automatically. Show original
Tatyana Rubtsova
Elena She's in a new relationship now and acting the exact same way... But the guy has a different temperament, he's set on changing her))
Translated automatically. Show original
Mariya
lanochka Why didn't you just ask her directly? ))) You could have asked: "Natasha, or whatever her name is, if you're happy, why are you complaining?"
Translated automatically. Show original
Elena
Elena 👍well done
Translated automatically. Show original

Read also