I'm reaching out only to those who have experienced a similar situation. All comments like "you shou…

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I'm reaching out only to those who have experienced a similar situation. All comments like "you should have done this earlier," "well, I didn't do that," etc. – please pass by, or I'll just delete them. Given: a very tactile 4-year-old boy, in a word, a "mama's boy." From birth, he co-slept, otherwise no one in the house slept. From 1.5 years old, we moved him to his own crib, he slept there all night, only crawling over in the morning. Around 2–2.5 years old, we bought a bigger bed and moved it away from ours. He would fall asleep in it by himself, slept all night. From 3.3 years old, health problems started, and he began crawling back to sleep with me. As soon as I got pregnant, I moved him back into his bed, but this time pushed it closer to mine. In general, he slept in it for an hour or two, and then came back to me. Now I've put a guardrail between our beds so he can learn to sleep separately, as a baby will be born soon and there will also be breastfeeding and co-sleeping. But this has turned into a direct problem. At first, he started crying. He says he's lost me, he's afraid of the dark, and he wants to be with me. He cries. He can't fall asleep. I don't know what to do. He's already taking a course of medication for obsessive movements + he has neurogenic bladder. The neurologist said that with the birth of the baby, it will likely get even worse, and I'll have to go on Atarax 🤦🏻️. Question: Has anyone co-slept with 3–4-year-olds and a newborn? Share your stories. How did it all go?
Comments
Elena
So why not avoid creating problems and danger for your newborn? Get your baby used to sleeping separately.
I've co-slept with all my children since they were 5 months old, but the idea of doing it with everyone together never even crossed my mind.
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Schukina Ksyushka
I don't think there are any. Sleeping with one baby is already risky, and with two? I doubt anyone would take that chance.
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Guzel Hasanova
Try organizing a bassinet for the baby nearby. Many moms don't have them sleep in the same bed from birth. This should be an internal decision for you. I'd also recommend you see a psychologist. Our middle child was a bit more difficult when we moved to a new apartment and he started sleeping with his brother. The first month they shared a couch, then they slept separately. Maybe you can arrange for your oldest to take the middle one under his wing.
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Ruzanna
Does he lose you even if your hand is with him? Yes, darn it, that's a bummer....
Doesn't he sleep with dad?
Well, another option is to put the baby in a bedside bassinet.


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Anya Yurchenko
Ruzanna At night, I no longer hold his hand. Only when he's falling asleep. Now we have a night light on all night so it's not dark, but it doesn't help much.

I don't know what the baby will be like; if they're like my son, who would start screaming bloody murder the moment he touched his crib or I got up to go to the bathroom, then they'll also sleep with me.
That's why I'm thinking through all the options, including the most unrealistic one.
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Ruzanna
Ruzanna I understand you. You can't predict things in advance (((
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Katrin
I don't think it's realistic to combine a newborn with a 4-year-old. I started training my kids to sleep separately in their own rooms at 1.5 years old. Yes, I still run to the younger one at night, but not always 😅. I breastfed both until they were a year old and slept together... sleeping with the older and younger ones in guests' houses was terrible—no sleep at all, and the fear that she might crush her.
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Yuliya
I also have to move my 3-year-old to his own room. I'm not considering other options. He slept alone a couple of times, but he's very scared of any noise due to the fireworks and cries. He also sleeps lightly, while others are hard to wake up.
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Anya Yurchenko
Guzel Hasanova We have an older daughter, a teenager)) so that's unlikely) My husband went to sleep in the living room because we all don't fit on the bed anymore🙈
But my son doesn't really want to sleep with him either.
About the bassinet: when he was little, he didn't sleep in his crib or without me. I had to lie next to him, and if I got up to go to the bathroom, that was it... he'd start crying immediately. He started sleeping normally around a year old. Even in his own crib. But as soon as the GI and neurological problems started - that was it.
I'm not sure if it will be the same with the baby, but I'm considering even the most unrealistic options. What if?
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Tatyana
But often it's not that easy. With breastfeeding, there are constant growth spurts at night, no sleep at all.
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Agapova Inna
What's the problem? 🤔 We're co-sleeping with everyone, and still are. Our oldest only started sleeping separately closer to 7 years old.
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Anya Yurchenko
Agapova Inna With all of them at the same time?
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Kseniya
I get that. But if you're already struggling with one child, why would you go through the same thing again with a second?
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Olcha
We co-slept for a while with my older and middle child 😁 but we quickly got tired of it and un-co-slept, we didn't give up on that. When I got pregnant with the youngest, the middle one would often come at night, and in general, he was also very tactile and all mine. My husband started taking him to the garage more often, going for walks, spending time with him. And he mostly put him to sleep. Well, when the youngest was born, he only slept in his own crib, the middle one would come, but we talked, explained, my husband said, 'Let's go lie down in your bed,' and in general, he stopped coming. But sleeping together with a baby and a four-year-old is not the safest thing, here you don't need to focus on sleep, but on how to get away from it.
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Agapova Inna
Agapova Inna Yes. I'm lying down now too, with my youngest on the right and my middle child on the left.
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Anya Yurchenko
First of all, it's convenient, especially when breastfeeding. You don't have to jump to the bed every hour or two. You feed in a half-asleep state and go back to sleep. And everyone's happy. That's how it was with all of them. But with the older ones, the age gap was bigger, so it was easier. And there weren't such health problems.
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Alena
I don't think there are many moms here in your exact situation... Co-sleeping with two babies, especially an infant, is really unsafe. You know no one will get any sleep! I co-sleep with all my kids too, but when they're very little, I even move my husband out so there's more space to sleep, just in case... My older child sleeps separately or with their dad.
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Anya Yurchenko
Yuliya I'd be happy just to move him to a separate bedside crib. I'm not even dreaming of a separate room yet.
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Kseniya
I don't know. I always thought it was very dangerous. I would consider the option of a bedside bassinet if the second baby is still in your bed for now.
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Anastasiya
I'm already thinking about options. Most likely, we'll get a bedside bassinet for the first time.
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Katya
I still sometimes take turns sleeping with my son. He often comes to our bed. But with two, it would be scary.
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Anya Yurchenko
Let's get a crib for the baby. It's just not a given that they'll sleep in it, unlike my older kids.
I often breastfed half-asleep and would doze off during the process. So, I didn't move them to my bed. But I was more or less rested. It's hard to fall back asleep once you're awake in the middle of the night, and just as you drift off, they demand the boob again, and so on. I've been through this and chose the best option for me.
My daughter transitioned to sleeping in her crib pretty much without issues. The crib was still in our room back then, but still.
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Yuliya
Yuliya I wish I had a separate bedside bassinet too. I'm still talking to him, explaining things
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Anya Yurchenko
Anastasiya We bought a crib for the newborn. But in my experience, none of my babies slept in them. It's just that with the older ones, the age gap was bigger and there were no health problems.
I still need to hear them at night. An attack could start.
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Anya Yurchenko
Yuliya We couldn't agree, so we had to buy a bed rail and install it. But so far, there haven't been any particular results. At least he won't climb over in his sleep. His bed is against the wall, with the rail on the other side.
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Anastasiya
Anastasiya We don't have any other options. Essentially, the bed is an extension of ours. I wouldn't risk sleeping on one bed. Plus, I'd have to move my husband out then. Which is also not an option.
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Kseniya
You're talking like nobody knows what breastfeeding is lol)))
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