Why don't our modern children know how to learn, can't wait, and struggle so much with boredom? I ca…

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Why don't our modern children know how to learn, can't wait, and struggle so much with boredom? I can't help but agree with what the author wrote. I'm an occupational therapist with extensive experience working with children, parents, and teachers. It seems to me that our kids are behaving or coping worse in many aspects. I hear pretty much the same thing from every teacher I encounter. As a professional, I see a decline in children's social, emotional, and academic engagement, along with an explosion in cases of low learning ability and other disorders. We all remember that our brains are plastic. Our environment can make them stronger or weaker. I sincerely believe that, despite our good intentions, we are unfortunately developing our children's brains in the wrong direction. ⠀ And here's why: 1. Children get everything they want, when they want it "I'm hungry!" — "I'll buy a snack in a second." "I want a drink" — "Here's a vending machine." "I'm bored!" — "Take my phone." The ability to delay gratification is key to future success. We want to make children happy, but we only make them happy in the present, and they may end up unhappy in the long run. Being able to delay pleasure means being able to work under stress. Our children are becoming less and less prepared to cope with even minor stressors, which ultimately becomes a huge obstacle to success. We often see children's inability to delay gratification in class, at the toy store, or in a restaurant when they hear "No," because parents have taught their brains to get everything instantly. 2. Limited social interaction We have a lot to do, so we give children gadgets to keep them busy too. In the past, children played outside, where they developed social skills in extreme conditions. Gadgets have replaced outdoor play. And technology has made parents less available for interaction with children. A phone that "sits" with a child instead of us won't teach them how to communicate. Most successful people have well-developed social skills. This is a priority! More stylish ideas: Physics proves: your thoughts shape your destiny The brain is like muscles that are trained. If you want your child to ride a bike, learn to ride one yourself. If you want them to be able to wait, teach them patience. If you want them to socialize – socialize them. It's the same for all skills. No difference! 3. Endless fun We've created an artificial world without boredom. As soon as a child quiets down, we rush to entertain them again, otherwise, it feels like parental duty is unfulfilled. We live in two worlds: they are in their "world of fun," and we are in the world of "work." Why don't children help in the kitchen or with laundry? Why don't they clean up their toys? This is simple, monotonous work that trains the brain to perform boring tasks. It's the same "muscle" needed for schoolwork. When it's time to write in class, they respond: "I can't, it's too hard, it's boring." Why? Because the "working" muscle isn't trained by endless fun. It's only trained by work. 4. Technology Gadgets have become free nannies, but there's a price for their help. We pay with our nervous system, attention, and ability to delay gratification. Everyday life is boring compared to virtual reality. When children come to class, they are faced with voices and visual stimulation, as opposed to graphic explosions and special effects on screens. After hours of virtual reality, they have more difficulty processing information because they're used to the high stimulation of video games. They are incapable of low-level stimulation, which hinders problem-solving. More stylish ideas: 5 phrases a real woman says instead of "I love you" Technology also emotionally distances us from our children and family. Parental emotional availability is the main nourishment for a child's brain. Unfortunately, we are gradually depriving them of it. 5. Children rule the world "My son doesn't like vegetables." "She doesn't like going to bed early." "He doesn't like breakfast." "She doesn't like toys but is good with a tablet." "He doesn't want to dress himself." "She's too lazy to eat by herself." I often hear this from parents. Since when do children dictate parenting? If we give them freedom, they'll eat pasta, watch TV, play on their tablets, and never sleep. How can we help if we give them what they want instead of what's good for them? Without proper nutrition and sleep, children go to school irritable and inattentive. We send the wrong signal. They learn to do whatever they want and not do what they don't want to. There's no concept of "must." To achieve goals, you often have to do what's necessary, not what you want. If you want to be a student, you have to study. If you want to be a footballer, you have to train. Children know what they want, but struggle to do what's necessary. This leads to unattainable goals and disappointment. Train their brains! You can train your child's brain and change their life so they can succeed socially, emotionally, and academically. Here's how: 1. Don't be afraid to set boundaries Children need them to grow up happy and healthy. – Create a schedule for meals, sleep, and gadget time. – Think about what's good for the children, not just what they want. They'll thank you later. – Parenting is hard work. Be creative to get them to do useful things, although it will often be the opposite of their desires. – Children need breakfast and nutritious food. They need to go outside and go to bed on time to be ready to learn at school. – Turn hated chores into fun, emotional games. 2. Limit gadget access and restore closeness – Give flowers, smile, tickle, leave a note in their backpack or under their pillow. Surprise them with lunch from school, dance, crawl together, have pillow fights. – Have family dinners, games, bike rides, evening walks with a flashlight. 3. Teach them to wait! – Being bored is normal; it's the first step to creativity. – Gradually increase the time between "want" and "get." – Try not to use gadgets in the car and at restaurants; teach them to wait by talking or playing games. – Limit constant snacking. 4. Teach them to do monotonous work from an early age – Fold clothes, put away toys, hang things up, unpack groceries, make the bed. – Be creative. Make chores fun so the brain associates them with positivity. 5. Teach social skills Teach them to share, to win and lose gracefully, to praise others, to say "thank you" and "please." From my experience as a therapist, I can say this: children change when parents change their approach. Help your children succeed by training their brains before it's too late. Source Share to friends
У вас всё работает нормально? У меня вообще никуда не зайти не получается. Ни Pinterest, ни женский…
Comments
Oksana
Agreed. And who is the author?
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Yuliya
Great article
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TaTa
I agree
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Mariya
Absolutely agree and I follow this parenting style.
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Tatyana
I strictly fed my newborns on a schedule, and at the time, it was the best approach. But then I messed everything up and haven't been able to get back to that feeding routine for years. As a result, it's not even about discipline anymore; it's led to gastritis, dysbiosis, and food allergies.
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Tatyana
Oksana The source is indicated, but I don't know the specific author.
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Kristina
Because everyone thinks raising kids the Soviet way is cringe, but actually, raising kids *now* is cringe.
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lyubov
Most people eat when they want and live without gastritis and the like. Nobody in our house eats by the clock anyway. The reason is surely something else.
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Tatyana
The reason is that whoever wanted to eat, ate whatever they wanted. That's the only reason I see, and regarding the routine, sorry for the details, but the baby pooped like clockwork.
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Tatyana
Kristina It wasn't about parenting, it was about false hopes for a stable, bright future that collapsed in a single day.
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Schukina Ksyushka
I completely agree. I've always said that those who kiss ass will eventually reap the rewards. Parenting isn't always pleasant for the child, which many people fail to understand. The adult is in charge in the family, not the child. But often, especially here, I see children placed on a pedestal.
And yes, if something happened in our world that caused the internet to disappear, humanity's survival would be threatened precisely because of these parenting methods.
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lyubov
He himself walked, and you didn't forbid him from walking and force him to wait for the appointed time. Of course, the body rebuilds itself if there's a routine, but the article is about coercion, asking him to wait – this can actually be useful, there was even a study about candies, you've probably heard of it? But this absolutely does not apply to physiological needs; on the contrary, you need to be sensitive to your own body, and even more so to a child's body.
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Tatyana
What I mean is, if I start establishing a routine now – and I will, due to my child's health needs – I'll have to strictly limit eating outside of that schedule.
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lyubov
I'm not a doctor, of course, but I think you need to consult a specialist about this. How justified such a restriction is. But it sounds bad. Eating disorders are almost always the result of either overfeeding or restrictions. A strict regimen isn't always good; you could set up a draconian one that only makes things worse. Therefore, strict restrictions must be seriously justified and supervised by a specialist so that problems can be flexibly adjusted if they arise.
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Tatyana
I'm a nutritionist and I know everything about eating disorders. Yes, it will be under the supervision of a gastroenterologist, there are serious reasons for this, and besides, addiction happens very quickly, so it's hard to call it abuse.
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Nina
We don't have that here.
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Astashkina Anna
So I'm doing everything right 🤣
Yesterday they didn't want to tidy up their toys... I said, 'Okay, but then I don't want to feed you.' Two hours later, they wanted to eat, but nothing was tidy. I said, 'Tidy up first, I warned you 🤣
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Olga
Times change, and so do kids :)
There's a lot that needs changing, but sometimes you just don't have the emotional strength for it.

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Kirichenko Elena
Kristina I think they were also going too far back then, just in a different direction. Although maybe it was just in my family. But I, for example, had no childhood at all. Mom would write a list before work in the morning of what I needed to do: prepare lunch, wash the floors, weed the garden, etc., without considering that I was a child and needed to play. As a result, I hate all this housework. And I didn't really have friends because of it. Everyone else was running around playing during the holidays, they'd call me to go out and play, but I didn't have time, so we drifted apart. The fact that they didn't buy extra toys and treats resulted in endless envy towards those who had them and an inability to manage money when I finally had some; it was all spent on complete nonsense. I can't say this upbringing was beneficial; you need to know how to find compromises and set boundaries depending on the situation.
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Tatyana
Kristina Did you live in the USSR? How old are you?
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lyubov
If it's necessary based on a doctor's recommendation, that's another matter. Good luck to you. But the post isn't about painful situations, it's about the partial suppression of personality. Although I agree with much of it, like that children need to be bored sometimes, and not to distract them with gadgets.
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