She's turning 14 soon. She's been chatting with a guy from her grade since September. He confessed h…

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She's turning 14 soon. She's been chatting with a guy from her grade since September. He confessed his love, but everyone in school knows him as a womanizer and a bad student. From what I've heard, his family is complicated: his dad remarried, and his mom passed away. The boy himself suffers from frequent headaches, struggles with his studies, and generally doesn't care about school, even though his parents are trying their best: taking him to doctors, sending him to sanatoriums, hiring tutors... In short, she told me she didn't respond to his confession, but in reality, she admitted she was in love too. He probably got carried away with joy and told everyone at school, so now they're gossiping about why such a popular girl would choose such a loser. And while she seems bothered by these talks, it turns out she actually agreed to his proposal to get together. Yet she tells me they're not dating. By the way, I never bring up guys with her; she brings them up herself. I don't judge or laugh... I just listen. After all, I had a boyfriend in 8th grade too, and we were together for almost five years... But he was a top student and respected by everyone in school. Here, it's just confusing. I'm just trying to understand why she's lying to me?
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Gavrish Oksana
Doesn't trust you or is scared.
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Olya
I don't trust you. Maybe
my older daughter tells you everything. I had a boyfriend, and I introduced him to you, and in the end, that boyfriend switched to another friend, and after a while, to another friend. We discussed everything, talked it over
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Tatyana Rubtsova
There's so much emphasis on judgment and status around her... She's afraid to tell the truth, fearing you'll judge her choices too 🤷️
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KATUXA
Tatyana Rubtsova My fair question: why him?
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Tatyana Rubtsova
Tatyana Rubtsova It's not fair, it's subjective. You're looking at it judgmentally from your judgmental position.
Your daughter is only 14, and she doesn't care about status or appearances right now. She's looking at it from the perspective of a 14-year-old girl. At 14, status or grades don't play any role at all.
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Rimma
He's deceiving you because he knows he's a bad choice. You could say you can meet up and hang out, but he's unlikely to be suitable for anything more serious in the future.
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ZVYaGINA LENA
Ugh) My older son is such a slacker) but he's very kind, caring, attentive, with a great sense of humor) he already has a ton of girls 🗿

But reading your post, I understand how it looks from the parents' perspective)))
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, maybe the guy is really good in terms of his attitude towards the girl, respect, and attention)

Don't judge too harshly for the grades 😅
The main thing is that your daughter likes him, and she needs to gain her own life experience)
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Mama♡ocharovatelnoy dochki♡
I dated a boy in school who also got mediocre grades, like 2s and 3s. In the end, he got two higher education degrees and held a management position at Gazprom!)
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Yuliya
One of my friends met a 'bad boy' around 14 too. He just seemed so cool, strong, and dominant to her, walking the line right up to criminal charges. It was first love, and they were together for a few years. She went through a lot of emotional drama with him, but she still grew – finished school and went on to study. He, however, remained stuck in his 'swagger,' never developing. Eventually, their paths diverged. It took her a while to realize that status isn't everything. Yours is hiding her choice because she knows no one will approve, and she wants to avoid conflict.
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Elina
Tatyana Rubtsova Hahaha, there's a movie with that title. Check it out 😁
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Klinduh Ekaterina
And explain to the girl that condoms don't protect against STIs, which the boy could very well have.
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