My daughter is doing 3D paper modeling. She took on a complex project that older girls usually spend…

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My daughter is doing 3D paper modeling. She took on a complex project that older girls usually spend months on, and she finished it in just one month (she's a bit of a speed demon!). The technical requirements were met, but her speed has affected the neatness of her work. Her instructor didn't praise her for it, but she received praise from others at home and school based on photos. A couple of days later, knowing she'd taken on another challenging project, I told her not to rush, to pay more attention to details, and to work calmly and carefully. She got upset by this and said it meant her work was bad and that she had done it poorly. She's now sulking. I don't know how to explain to her that her work is great, but it's not just about getting it done, it's about doing it neatly.
We have 4-5 boys like this: they disrupt classes, bring teachers to tears, and trash the classroom.…
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Kristina
say that the job is good, but it could be even better
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Yuliya
Kristina She doesn't hear that it could be better, immediately gets upset, and convinces herself she did a bad job, then sulks.
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Ekaterina
Understand that there's such a thing as "constructive criticism." It's what helps us improve.
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Yuliya
Ekaterina She has an inadequate reaction to criticism, especially if you tell her directly how things are. She takes these moments very hard, carrying and processing them internally for days.
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Mariya
What's the harm in letting her do as she pleases?
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Lena Pugacheva
So if the teacher praised her, why are you criticizing? When the time comes, she'll do it more carefully; she needs to practice. In my opinion, she's doing great.
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Kristina
No way, let her learn from her mistakes.
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Yuliya
Mariya She's not 3 years old to be praised for just any craft. She's in school and there are also requirements for neatness there. The point isn't just to complete the assignment, but to do it carefully.
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Marina Boldyreva
Are you aiming for a world art exhibition? If not, let her do as she pleases. She's doing it for enjoyment, isn't she? Enjoyment achieved, mission complete 👌🏻👍🏻
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Yuliya
Lena Pugacheva She's been attending this class for two years, and I know her capabilities and skills. She did it this way because of the speed and rush; if you take on a difficult task, you should try your best. She's already got the hang of it.
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Mariya Glebova
I used to be a nail technician, and I was very meticulous, slow, and thorough. The girls next to me did a worse job but faster. As a result, the most nitpicky clients came to me, the ones who would find fault with every speck of dust, driving me into an even deeper hell of perfectionism. While my colleagues were making 6-10k a day, I was barely making 4-6k at most. And they would leave energized, while I was completely drained.
Who says perfectionists are good? Only for those who take advantage of them, think about it.
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Lena Pugacheva
Lena Pugacheva I understand, I have the same. But, I think, it can completely kill the desire if she is very sensitive. You need to weigh the risks and benefits, like with medication.
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yankovskaya yuliya
The people who are okay with 'good enough' are the happiest, they'll clearly stress less and earn more)))
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Ekaterina
Ekaterina Did you tell her before? My son used to react strongly too – like, 'Did I draw badly?' I just answered honestly – yes, you could have done better. He was upset at first, but then he got used to it.
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Yuliya
Wow, I hadn't thought of it that way. I should approach it from this angle, and even from a third-person perspective. How would she evaluate this work if another child did it, not herself? What would she see in it? Maybe this way she'll actually see the flaws. After all, it's always easier to criticize others than to hear criticism directed at yourself. Thanks ❤️
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Yuliya
Ekaterina Since she's a bit of a rush-rush person, I always tell her to either do it well (when it comes to drawings, crafts) or don't do it at all. I strongly advise her to take on simpler tasks but complete them well/excellently, rather than something very complex that's done sloppily.
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Liliya
You can't explain it until it clicks for them. You just have to accept it.
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Yuliya
Mariya Glebova Could 'worse' not mean 'bad'? Maybe it's the best they could do. It's really strange, our technicians always have fully booked schedules with repeat clients for careful work, but speed also matters. Maybe this just isn't for you. And it's not about perfectionism here. Nobody's talking about perfect execution, but there are really a lot of mistakes. Of course, I didn't mention them, I was talking about the work she's about to do, so she'd cut out the details carefully
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Yuliya
Mariya I can't say it's bad because for her age, it's very good. She did such a great job, but the issue is with neatness. The details could have been cut more carefully (she knows how to), and she could have worked more neatly with the glue. Meaning, if she doesn't rush, she can do it much better.
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Yuliya
Marina Boldyreva She might enter the competition, and then it will be even harder to cope with this disappointment.
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Marina Boldyreva
Marina Boldyreva Well, that will be her experience. But as it is, everyone praised it and only mom criticized it... That's a bit hurtful 😓
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Yuliya
Mariya Glebova She doesn't have the patience for perfectionism, but why settle for 'good enough' when you can do it well?
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Mariya Glebova
Mariya Glebova My husband isn't a perfectionist. Where I sit and doubt if I'm good enough, he just charges ahead like a tank and takes action. Your baby has reached a level that everyone approves of, it's good. Fast and good, that's not a bad skill, it's also a useful quality
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Tanya Chamkaeva
I'm basing this not only on your post but also on your reasoning, which you agree with. I'm reading carefully.

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Yuliya
Mariya Glebova But that doesn't mean the second job needs to be done the same way. She's focusing on speed again, while I'm suggesting she pay more attention to the details.
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Mariya Glebova
Mariya Glebova It's all about balance. Of course, we shouldn't encourage outright crookedness, but if your child is really into the process and their little engine is running at full speed, you need to gently slow them down with extreme care!)
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Yuliya
She handles criticism from the outside even worse. And neatness won't come on its own, as I've let go of how she writes in her notebook, and she's started writing much worse than she's capable of, but I don't really care, as long as it's correct. I'm not a perfectionist myself. But this is creative work, and neatness is one of the rules for completing such tasks.
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Yuliya
Mariya Glebova So, for example, she wants to bake cakes (who knows what might happen!), and she bakes a cake. In any case, people will judge its appearance – where it's uneven, where something has dripped. It might taste great, but it's amateurish. And if you're doing it at home for yourself and your family, that's fine. But if you're taking orders, you're open to criticism and rejection. It's just unclear to me: if she can cut evenly, why rush and cut unevenly? I can't cut evenly myself (I ask her to do it for me). But this really looks like I cut it 😁
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Svetlana
Mariya Glebova how they described us. My husband was measuring, my brother came and demolished the wall). I'm also doing this here and now, not waiting for anyone, calling right now, and my husband needs to think
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Yuliya
The other kids also expressed their opinions to her, and she got upset and offended. But then I supported her, telling the critics to at least try doing it themselves first. However, again, I'm not talking about the work itself, but about the neatness of execution, which she can and knows how to do. But she was in a hurry this time and didn't use those skills. So I want her second job to be done more neatly.
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Mariya Glebova
Mariya Glebova What if she becomes a manager? She'll find perfectionists for her team, and they'll sculpt perfect cakes for her. My husband's team are builders; he quickly agrees, makes quick decisions on materials, and then the team works hard to make it happen.
And here I am, spending two weeks choosing interior pillows, damn it all, may this perfectionism be damned 😂
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Svetlana
Mariya Glebova OMG, exactly! Does he... like, study the entire assortment before buying anything? 🤣 Are you a Leo by any chance?
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Mariya Glebova
Mariya Glebova Worse. Virgo
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Mariya Glebova
Mariya Glebova And my cups are feng shui too 😂
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Tanya Chamkaeva
Let the kids say what they want. She has to figure it out herself. But it turns out the kids said it and mom said it... Is it just criticism then?
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Yuliya
Mariya Glebova My partner also studies, reads, and measures everything. I tend to just jump in and do things, but often mistakes and errors happen. My washing machine broke, and my partner said he'd come look at it tomorrow and call a repairman if needed. But I needed it done urgently, so I went ahead and took it apart myself, down to the hoses and siphons, not without some hiccups. But I fixed it 😁. Then he tried to carefully bring a sofa into the room, and I came in and just shoved it in with my foot. His approach really irritates me, so when he's doing something, I always try to step away.
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Yuliya
Mom said to do the work carefully and not rush, but Mom sang praises for this work.
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Yuliya
Marina Boldyreva I wasn't criticizing this work, I just said to do the second one more carefully and most importantly, not to rush.
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Yuliya
Marina Boldyreva She got offended, but it's unclear how to get her to do it more carefully.
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Marina Boldyreva
Marina Boldyreva Well, I wouldn't push it; she'll understand in time. The strongest motivators to do better come from within, not from outside words.
But ultimately, the decision is yours.
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