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I totally get it. I worked at a school for 10 years and studied at university myself. When it comes…

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I totally get it. I worked at a school for 10 years and studied at university myself. When it comes to kids, I prefer to talk in person and not name names in front of everyone, but lately, it's been driving me crazy. In elementary school, my son was a top student and a perfect little angel, so I didn't have any questions or doubts, and it didn't bother me. Now, I know he's messing up, or rather, I really *want* to know. But every meeting is like this: 'There are issues with tardiness in our class, talk to your kids, they've been late a lot.' Who, damn it? I leave home early, take my first grader to school with breakfast before the first lesson, we get there by 7:45 AM. I can't control when my older son actually leaves the house. Just tell us by last name: so-and-so, so-and-so, and so-and-so are late. I come home from the meeting: 'They said a lot of kids are late.' It's not me! And that's the whole conversation. And it's like that for all problems. To find out about my son, I have to stay after the meeting, and there's a whole line of people asking, 'But what about mine?' Waiting another hour just to ask that sacred question. They should just tell us directly; we've been together in 6th grade, we know what each of our kids is capable of. But no, it's not allowed. So what's the point of the meeting then – to listen to general phrases?
Кто-нибудь из Пятигорска или Ессентуков? Смотрю прогноз, вроде у вас пока тепло на улице. Значит, ещ…
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Liliya
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You are contradicting yourself
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October 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
Liliya
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That's right: stay for 5 minutes after the meeting to learn all about your baby
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October 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
Ruzanna
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Totally agree. I don't understand all these "royal court" secrets at all...
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October 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
Gubareva Alina
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In our class group, they write every day about who was late, who forgot their ruler, who forgot their pen. It feels unpleasant when they point out such small things. I'd rather know about real mistakes, but forgetting something happens to everyone, right?
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October 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
Olesya
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Liliya So, if 30 people remain for just 5 minutes, it's not really 5 minutes at all. By the time they get to you, if you're even the tenth person left, you'll be waiting 40 minutes for everyone in front of you to talk about their child. They should have invited Petya's parents at 6 PM, Masha's at 6:10 PM, and so on. I'm stuck in an hour-long meeting with general phrases, and then almost another hour to find out about my own child.
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October 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
Tatyana Rubtsova
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A couple of days ago, there was a post complaining about teachers calling out students by name. Your post is about not calling out names... and yet, every class has both types of students... poor teachers 🤣 What good will knowing the names of latecomers do? Your child said it wasn't them, and that's that. What else is there to say? Staying after class to discuss your child's issues is normal practice, rather than having five-hour meetings about every single student. The general issues were discussed, and those who needed to stay, stayed, while everyone else went home to rest.
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October 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
Olesya
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Gubareva Alina Your child is still in elementary school, so it's understandable that they don't mean any harm. But in 6th-7th grade, when they don't bring their notebooks, skip labor class or PE to go to the store, or are regularly 5-10 minutes late because they're stuck on their phones in the restroom, you want to know about it immediately and quickly so you can give them a talking-to. You won't be checking their backpack anymore to see if they've got everything, but they still need supervision, so let them get called out. At least they'll know their mistakes won't go unnoticed.
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October 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
Natali
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When I was a schoolgirl, teachers didn't hold back. They'd call out names at parent-teacher meetings. My mom would come home from those meetings (and I was quite the troublemaker))) and say things weren't so bad))) But now it's all diplomacy, boundaries, and rights. In my daughter's 3rd-grade class, a huge argument broke out between parents and the teacher. She's the best teacher in their grade level, and she was even considering quitting. The parents were begging her, 'Tell us who's at fault in this argument! If some parents are unhappy, they should transfer their child to another class. Why should everyone suffer?' But she stood her ground: 'I won't say, but I won't tolerate rudeness either.' What is this madness???? It's hard to know what's best here
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October 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
Tanya Chamkaeva
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I never stay. I just call the teacher twice a year to check on his behavior and any other details. We have a meeting once a year. And that's all you learn in one go. So I know how my son is doing with his studies and there's no need to stay.
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October 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
Olga Antyuhova
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My last name is called out, and I'm asked what my problems are.
My parents gave the teachers permission for this.
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October 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
Anna
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Yes, that's true, without last names. Fortunately, they call now if there are similar cases, at least where we are.
It was different in the Soviet Union 😄
They announced the whole list right away)
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October 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
Yana
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They've introduced timed consultations here. You sign up to see the teacher like you would a doctor, 10-15 minutes per student)))
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October 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
Yana
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Natali Haha, we have boundaries and rights too, but still no partitions or locks on the toilet)))
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October 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
Olesya
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Yana That makes a lot of sense. But it's like a whole other country there for you. We have a classmate who moved, and her mom says she can see through MESH when they arrived at school, when they left, and even what they bought at the cafeteria. With us, it's all based on the child's word – they say they ate, they say they weren't late...
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October 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
Olga Antyuhova
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Olga Antyuhova Someone's being difficult and complaining. I don't care about others' opinions, I don't even look at them. My baby is all that matters.
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October 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
Tatyana Rubtsova
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Tatyana Rubtsova It's still better than if all 20 are discussed during class time, answering hundreds of questions… and in the end, parents who came just for show will sit for three hours, even though they don't need it 🤷️
When I was studying, that's how meetings were held at my school… My mom could sit there for 4-5 hours while everyone was discussed by name, each arguing with the teacher about "my Lucy is gold, you're the one who's a naughty radish"..
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October 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
Yana
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Natali But with the slightest bump, a rush to the ER and dealing with the parents...
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October 22, 2026 at 9:21 AM
Olesya
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Tatyana Rubtsova I'm talking about the general situation with last names: Ivanov and Petrov are always late, Smorchkov and Mukhomorov disrupted the English lesson, and those who need to argue and sort things out stay behind and do it. Because right now, we have a queue of 20 parents, and each one is asking: 'Wasn't my child late? Didn't my child disrupt the lesson?'
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October 22, 2026 at 11:54 AM

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