I don't want to discuss this with loved ones because they judge and don't understand me. Anyway, whe…

I don't want to discuss this with loved ones because they judge and don't understand me. Anyway, when we make wishes, we need to be careful and mindful of our wording. We live in a one-bedroom apartment with two children. It's our apartment, we're fine with housing, the mortgage is paid off. But we're stuck here, the housing issue isn't resolved, and I want to expand. The kids are growing up, they're teenagers now, 10 and 13 years old. When we had our second child, we planned to get a two-bedroom apartment soon with a mortgage. But life had other plans, unforeseen circumstances happened. The money for the down payment went elsewhere. We're living tough, what's there to explain, I think it's obvious. Almost two years ago, my husband bought a house and took out a mortgage. But there's little money for repairs, everything is going very slowly. I knew it would be like this, of course, but I hoped he would change his mind and consider my version – selling the apartment. But no, he continues to believe that we'll gradually do the renovations ourselves with our income. By the way, when we lived for many years and spent the children's allowance and disability pension, he was working too, of course, but his income wasn't high, he was content. But what a fool I was not to demand more from him back then! What I mean is, all the years I spent on the family, he was building his income. And now, when I'm left without any income, he often manipulates money. Although when he opened his sole proprietorship, I worked with him for over a year, then I went back to taking care of the children and myself because there were many conflicts. Now the situation is just strange. He wants to do the renovations himself, but for that, I have to work at his company. He claims he can't afford to hire an employee. And so, I'm sitting in the one-bedroom with the kids and crying, thinking about how I ended up in this situation... that everything is now on his terms 😭😭😭. And it's not easy to leave when you have no job, no income. I look at these salaries, and I want to cry, you can't survive on them. And he knows it. I hate the job. It's emotionally draining; it takes me two days to recover. And he doesn't understand what the fuss is about? The renovations are happening, the work is getting done. But at what cost, at what price? I spent almost a year pulling myself together, started watching my weight, tried to take care of myself mentally, at least I got off antidepressants. And now I have to endure this situation again because my husband sets conditions: if we don't do the renovations together and he can't manage without me, he won't live with me. Supposedly. Fun. I feel like I'm on probation in my own family. And I can't leave things as they are. These conditions are destroying and killing me. I can't accept the situation at all 😭😭😭😭😭. And about wishes – that's why when I wished for a house, I didn't specify at what cost it would come to us. Speaking of my husband, he works without days off, he tries for the family. But he constantly pressures me emotionally, as if trying to settle scores. But we will never be equal. I gave him everything as a woman: a family, the house was always cozy and clean, everything done, delicious food, and sex was good. And he evaluates me, apparently, from a more advantageous perspective, a male one. It's very strange how I didn't notice this before. He gave me gifts, took me on vacations. I never thought he would become like this over the years and with the change in financial situation. More stingy, calculating. 😭😭😭 Girls, I feel so bad emotionally right now. Looking for a place to escape 😭😭😭