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I'm a worried mom, and I can't stop thinking about it. We enrolled our little one in karate. He's been going for about a month. The stretching has started, and tears have come at last. He's one of the kids who cries and says it hurts. After training, the coach gives everyone a candy as a reward for trying and sticking with it; our child leaves without a candy, which leaves him feeling hurt and even more tearful. I don't know how right this approach is. The coach is experienced, an active competition participant, and he has his own children on the team. The older kids also did sports, and there were ups and downs. With this approach, won't it dampen his desire to come to practice? He is, by nature, a tearful and very gentle child; he simply needs someone to approach him and hug him. For him it's a moment of safety.
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Tuti
Рано отдали
Umida Kozhevnikova
Не все дети гибкие. Возможно и правда больно.
Nastasiya
It seems this sport isn’t a good fit for them. It might not be the right choice. For some kids, the activity isn’t painful at all, but with this kind of body type it can be uncomfortable. Sooner or later they may drop out as they get older. It’s not worth pushing your child. Consider trying swimming or soccer instead.
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Alla Ananchenko
Tuti We've enrolled him for now just for physical education, with no plans for him to continue in this sport. They don't usually accept children as young as three, and our son is very active and growing. So we decided to give it a try.
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Alla Ananchenko
Umida Kozhevnikova How can you tell whether it’s flexible or not? It doesn’t sit still in place—like an awl, it hops and crawls.
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Alla Ananchenko
Nastasiya They don't accept children aged 3 and up anywhere.
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Yana Osadchaya
Too soon, I think they gave up on him.
Stretching is really painful for a child who isn't flexible.
And the coach's approach with such little kids feels odd.
Even in first grade—seven-year-olds—there are no grades; for any scribble they give a nice sticker, just to keep them motivated to train.
And here he's only three years old; in his view, he tried as hard as the others, but his efforts weren't valued at all.
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Tuti
Tuti Put him in General Physical Preparation (GPP) without steering him toward any particular sport—time will tell.
Not all kids are flexible, unfortunately.
My kid does karate, but he’s incredibly flexible; he learned to do the splits on his own at a young age, and he hasn’t lost that skill since.
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Alla Ananchenko
Tuti What is OFP, and where can I find it?
Our daughter used to study choreography; she can still do the splits and even lift her leg over her head.
Bend me that way, and I’ll stay in that position.
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Nastasiya
Nastasiya Hockey? You could wait two years and start at age five. I had a very similar experience — I rushed my child into sports as well — and it left them with a lasting aversion to sports.
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Gulya
It's still small, of course.
At that age, I would have chosen general physical training.
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Alla Ananchenko
Yana Osadchaya With all that energy aimed at causing chaos, we decided to channel it into sports, so that the energy would be spent productively.
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Tuti
Tuti General physical training — my little one started attending it around 3.5 to 4 years old, and at one point also went to swimming. I'm not flexible at all; I've never been flexible. You could bend me only once, and then it's death🤣
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Alla Ananchenko
Nastasiya I would devote myself to biathlon, but there it starts at seven.
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Alla Ananchenko
Tuti Could you tell me where this is usually taught?
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Yana Osadchaya
Yana Osadchaya I have a child who’s the same way. When they were four, I signed them up for judo. Believe me, it’s been three years already, and their energy hasn’t diminished at all—they still jump around and run even after practice, even though they train four times a week. If I were you, I’d switch them to another sport a bit later. Let them do swimming, for example. It’s a useful skill and good for health.
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Valeriya
Why go through this? Find a lighter sport. You’re aiming for your body’s health and overall development, right? There’s no need to put your child through this. There’s aikido, there’s martial arts training, and there are different coaches—some are more serious and train for professional sports and competitions, while others are milder, more like general fitness. Find what works for you.
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Alla Ananchenko
Yana Osadchaya Finding activities for kids aged 3 and up is hard in our city. Here there is a gym near our home, and the schedule fits into our routine. There is also artistic gymnastics, but the classes are at 5:20 PM — how does that work? At that time most kids are at kindergarten, and many parents are at work.
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Alla Ananchenko
Valeriya The problem is that there isn't really a choice.
That's why we came here.
But after the last session, I began to doubt our decision.
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Valeriya
Valeriya Not many coaches take kids this young. Only those who are preparing future professional athletes do, because starting a professional sports career at seven is already late from that perspective. If you don’t have that goal, simply wait until your child is five. By then, most sports programs will be accepting, and there will be more options.
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Umida Kozhevnikova
Umida Kozhevnikova Don't stay in one place—that's not it at all.

We need to watch the wrists, the feet, and the bends, and pay attention to the spine.
The split is the same: for the flexible, even without any warmups, there remains a small distance to sit fully into the split.
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Tuti
Tuti We had a kickboxing class, I think, but there weren’t any combat elements for kids this young—just fitness. At most, they hit the punching bag for fun at the end of the session.
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Natalya Aleshina
That’s why I’ve postponed karate until he’s seven, so he’ll understand why he has to endure it. Otherwise, I think his motivation might wane, and a negative mindset could develop.
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Olga Tihonova
Not everyone responds well to such a harsh approach.
My daughter trained in synchronized swimming for two years, and the coach was very strict — like a drill sergeant from the Soviet era: no crying, you must endure, and she was constantly scolding them.
Many of the girls did well, but my daughter has a sensitive temperament; she cried a lot, and that approach didn't motivate her.
In the end we left, and to this day she still hates the pool 🥲
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Alla Ananchenko
Olga Tihonova That's exactly the approach I'm interested in. After all, kids are so different, and not everyone knows how to connect. In my daughter's ballet class, they pulled her in every direction. She cried, and cried. Yet she walked into the next lesson with a smile, because the teacher was incredible. And all the kids, through tears and with great patience, rushed to class.
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Anna
Stretching is painful at any age.
But there are people who are 'wooden'.
My joints are naturally flexible, while my older sister could never even do a bridge pose.
And at this point, it's important to understand: is it really that he can't, or does he not want to?
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Alla Ananchenko
Anna How can this be understood? A child is only three years old. Everything hurts him; he can't do things, he doesn't want to, and he doesn't understand. Please help me figure out what's really going on here.
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Schukina Ksyushka
Could you tell me why your 'Of course' doesn't come with a candy?
Is he sick and not allowed to have one?
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Anna
Anna The coach should see this, not you.
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Alla Ananchenko
Schukina Ksyushka Well, not exactly. It seems rewards go only to those who did everything without shedding a tear and endured it. And that worries me. Is this really fair—the way this approach treats a person?
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Schukina Ksyushka
Schukina Ksyushka Я думаю, что тренеры не первый год работают и понимают как лучше. Не обижайтесь, но сравню с дрессурой. Если собака выполняет команду — ей дают вкусняшку. Если нет и ей дадут, то она решит, что можно и не выполнять, все равно получит. Тут тот же принцип
Olya
Umida Kozhevnikova Конечно больно
Всем больно, просто не все плачут.
А некоторые делают не на пределе и поэтому могут терпеть.
Хватает растяжки сесть на обычный шпагат, тогда тянут со скамейки (одну ногу закидывают на скамейку, а вторая на полу) и соответственно опять больно
Olya
Alla Ananchenko На плаванье берут даже с 0 лет
Olya
Alla Ananchenko Вам лучше с психологом пообщаться
С моей точки зрения так можно приучить с детства и стресс сладким заедать
И эмоции свои блокировать и скрывать от всех, а не проживать.
Он же делает. По сути тренер как щенка дрессирует ни "хорошо делать", а именно "не реветь"
По-моему справедливей пообщерять за результат растяжки (типа через месяц сел на шпагат- держи конфету), а не за сопотствующее моменты - отсутствие слез
zata fata
Alla Ananchenko Я в шоке вообще. Вы за что своего ребенка так ненавидите. Мало того ему больно, и вы его решили просто сбагрить потому что своей энергией вам мешает, так ещё и психологически его ломают, обесценивают в сравнении с кем-то. Изверги, ей богу.

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