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I like to peek at posts about the parent committee sometimes: I don't see the need or joy in it myse…

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I like to peek at posts about the parent committee sometimes: I don't see the need or joy in it myself, but it's amusing to observe from the sidelines. It's especially interesting to read stories of "victims of tyranny" – they didn't even aim to become part of this parent committee, but they had to because everyone else refused. This is usually followed by a description of the difficulties of this burdensome duty, complaints about negligent parents, and so on. And then a thought immediately comes to mind: hmm... if everyone else refused, does that mean such a role is even possible? Does that mean these sufferers could also have refused this dubious honor? What makes people agree to a fuss that only brings extra work and stress? If only there were enthusiastic people – they exist, and they enjoy organizing things for others, being in the thick of it, but I have no questions for them. But I'm writing specifically about those who, fine, agreed because everyone else refused. You could have refused too! The scariest and most terrible thing that could have happened is that your class would have lived without a parent committee, and that's quite survivable. P.S. Yes, I've been waiting for a long time for people to stop signing up for this, so that school/kindergarten administration learns to either take care of last year's curtains or get new ones from those who are actually obliged to provide them (curtains are an exaggerated example, by the way)).
Прошло ровно год, как я покинула сферу ухода за людьми и конкретно последний пансионат. Но ФБ всё ра…
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Katerina
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They didn't know what a pain it would be 🤫 I agreed to help with my son's kindergarten class. The first time I went to a meeting, I was very active, chiming in everywhere, keeping the conversation going, and making suggestions. At the end of the meeting, the teacher suggested I help out since I wasn't working. I regretted it within a month. I quit in a huge fight before New Year's, and now I'm quiet as a mouse, nipping my own activity in the bud 🤣
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Tamasyan Yuliya
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Most often, those who are having their first child sign up for this) I signed up in school back in the day, and a year later, I gave up my duties) Then, with my second husband, we went to a meeting for the 1st grade, and when the teacher asked "who wants to be the class mom?" he raised his hand😅 I quickly stopped him, of course, and after the meeting explained what a hassle it is)
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Pozdnyakova Yuliya
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Katerina Wait, how could you not know?)) I know, and I'm from another country, and they're unaware?)) And if someone as caring and active as you gave up so quickly, then things are definitely even worse than I imagine)
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Pozdnyakova Yuliya
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Tamasyan Yuliya As an option) But even if it's your first child: the person clearly says they don't want to participate in the parent committee, but since everyone else refused, they feel they have to... Why do they have to?..
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Katerina
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Katerina It's awkward even without a parent committee. In our educational institutions, even thinking about money is forbidden. And the funding isn't great, even in big cities; kindergartens/schools are free, funded solely by the budget. This means no gifts for New Year's, March 8th, or Teacher's Day, for both kids and adults. Kids also go without wet wipes or bags for dirty clothes, coloring books, crayons, play-doh, or paint, and use toilet paper that irritates their bottoms. School kids go without notebooks, drinking water, spare pens, A2 and A3 paper, or field trips. Of course, everything is solvable – you can bring a whole bunch of stuff to kindergarten every day, and at school, instead of during extracurriculars, the whole class can draw a poster at the home of a classmate whose mom bought an A2 sheet. But it's inconvenient.
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Talantseva Evgeniya
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I believe those who don't want to but agree, actually want it deep down but are ashamed to admit it 🙃. Another option (I'll tell you about our garden's system next) is that according to the list, each parent participates in turns for the 5 years the child is in kindergarten. There are 5-6 people on the committee, 27 in total. One is the main person, another collects the money, and the remaining 3 or 4 (depending on the situation) are assistants. There can be no refusals, as we have a list and everyone participates. Last year I was in charge of the money, but I was excused from the position at 25 weeks 😅
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Katerina
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Katerina Well, I didn't know 🤷 I really thought I needed to help. Not that my brain would be picked apart over gym t-shirts. That's also a question of convenience. In kindergarten, they had group activities, one group – one t-shirt color. Not white. It's logical to buy for everyone, rather than trying to guess the shade 🤷 Especially since we had a wonderful store back then where these t-shirts cost 99 rubles, like a carton of milk price-wise. But it turned out that this wasn't logical for everyone. 99 rubles is too much/too little, the child doesn't suit/like the color/doesn't want it, someone already has a Winnie the Pooh t-shirt and can't part with it even for team events, and so on. It's really messed up. And at the meeting, everyone sat there all sweet, smiling, silent, who knew…
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Pozdnyakova Yuliya
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Talantseva Evgeniya Well, I can definitely say that refusal is possible, even if there are three lists! If I haven't specifically been hired as an "activist" for the kindergarten, then no one can force me. There's no such staff position in kindergartens as a "parent committee member," so it's purely voluntary and nothing more.
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Olesya
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I'm so grateful to those who get involved in this. We've never bought curtains, but someone has to collect money and pay for the cooler in the office and cups so kids can drink during breaks, buy New Year's decorations – the administration requires us to decorate at least the windows because they face the road, hire a choreographer for the school talent show – someone has to do this. They also organize field trips during the holidays and congratulate teachers on their holidays, bless their hearts.
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Pozdnyakova Yuliya
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Katerina It's like a mini-apocalypse: 'no water, no resources, populated by robots' (lol))). I would have believed the story about poor funding if I hadn't read on the same site about friends who didn't contribute anything (not them personally, but there were no requirements) and somehow there were no casualties. So, it's possible. For example, school trips are organized without any committees: all parents are sent information about where they can go and how much it will cost – whoever wants to can respond and pay themselves, since no one is going to chase after them. I bought all the stationery for my entire school years myself and carried it myself – I just didn't know it was inconvenient (and everyone else didn't know either)). Only here did I learn that teachers apparently really need everyone to have the same notebooks… It's strange that teachers need this for some reason, but the parent committee is supposed to implement it. Same with spare pens, etc.: I clearly remember how the problem was solved if a student didn't have a pen or it broke – the teacher would ask the class if anyone had a spare pen, and that was it. If no one had one/wanted to share, the student would go through that terrible stress alone and maybe even start carrying a spare pen themselves later)
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Nastya15
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Katerina I don't usually ask for parents' opinions on what they've decided and bought. So we got blue gym uniforms with striped shirts because the group was called 'The Little Boat'.
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Alena Bazhanova
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I was at my daughter's maternity ward before my son was born, to help her buy things and bring them to her, to be a "checker" in the cafeteria, to accompany her on trips to other cities, anything at all, except collecting money. It didn't bother me, but I also had plenty of time for it.
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Olga
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Thank goodness we don't have anything like that here. I'm grateful to fate and my country of residence that this "popular pastime" has passed me by.
Our school requires nothing to be bought except for a backpack, a change of shoes, and gym clothes.
No gifts are exchanged for any holidays. The only exception is when a homeroom teacher or subject teacher changes; then, a commemorative gift is ordered for each departing teacher from everyone. The collection is about 1000-2000 rubles (converted) every three years for this purpose. You'll be surprised to learn that the teachers themselves buy snacks for the farewell reception.
There's a parent association (club) in the village – they actively cooperate with the local council and the school, but they focus purely on entertainment and major holidays like the end of the school year or Christmas. During these times, they mobilize their members, involve parents, and organize refreshments (cakes and drinks), sometimes with additional entertainment for the children.

That's all.

As for why people go there to suffer, I have no answer.
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Pozdnyakova Yuliya
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I can say even more – not everyone wants to take responsibility, even for money) I myself recently ran away, heels flashing, from the position of "little boss" – I realized that I don't need this stress, and "little power" doesn't bring me joy. Also, more than once they tried to make me entertain wards in nursing homes on a part-time basis, and I always answered simply: if I were attracted to this kind of activity, I would have gotten a job as an "activist" (that's what we call people who are hired to entertain)). And all this is within the framework of work, where I have at least some influence. And for free and on a sense of duty alone? No way, look for fools in the mirror))
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Mariya
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I don't know, we only buy a gift for the teacher on holidays and gifts for the kids for New Year's.

Why not do it? Kids always look forward to tea parties for New Year's, for example.
We don't contribute to any curtains or linoleum.
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Elina
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Judging by the posts here (because I went to school when decorating classrooms with paper lanterns made in class was a thing, and my child isn't studying in Russia), it seems like fundraising by the parent committee is treated like a sport: 'What else can we collect money for?' And there are many questions for the school: Why isn't classroom renovation funded? Why aren't students provided with drinking water – that's a basic need 🤔.
We also have a parent chat, but it's simpler – you can bring cakes and sweets to school, and it's customary to give gifts to teachers individually. They discuss who's bringing what candy for Halloween so no one brings the same thing, what homework is assigned, how everyone is doing on their projects. No arguments so far in 4 years of school.
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
lyubov
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We don't buy curtains and such, only gifts for the teacher and to organize parties/outings. Once the school asked us to wash windows, to hire a cleaning service, we agreed, but this isn't every year.
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Pozdnyakova Yuliya
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Mariya We also had some tea parties at school without any committee: everyone just brought something from home and that was it) We didn't even count who brought what amount, or how much they ate, can you imagine?) At my daughter's school, nobody pays anything, and somehow we manage. Yes, in the end, they drink tea at home, and for the teachers' birthdays, probably their loved ones congratulate them, but so far, no one has had a nervous breakdown over it)
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November 1, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Mariya
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Mariya It's nice to congratulate a good person I know on a holiday.

It's nice to leave a tip for a good waiter at a cafe.

And I understand and know the inner workings of both.

People who live in their own little world – that's their right. Everyone lives their own life.
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November 1, 2026 at 2:09 AM
Pozdnyakova Yuliya
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lyubov Just wondering: what would have happened if my parents hadn't paid for the window cleaning?
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November 1, 2026 at 2:12 AM
Pozdnyakova Yuliya
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Elina It's better not to ask such questions 😉 I've noticed many times that people just like to donate money for things (just as they like to complain about fees)) - the answers didn't always please my eye)
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November 1, 2026 at 2:15 AM
Mariya
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lyubov The teacher cleaned.
Last year, our class's cleaning lady wasn't paid, and none of the parents came to clean the classroom, so the teacher cleaned the windows herself.
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November 1, 2026 at 2:18 AM
Mariya
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Elina Recently, at our daycare, they were collecting money for a play tent for the kids. The teacher said a commission was coming and they needed to buy a tent because, from a psychological perspective, it's easier for a child to retreat to a tent to calm down. The moms were thrilled with this idea and decided to buy a new one instead of a used one from Avito.
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November 1, 2026 at 2:18 AM
Pozdnyakova Yuliya
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Mariya And there's nothing wrong with that: you like to give gifts, and no one has the right to stop you! It becomes problematic when *you* want to congratulate someone, but *everyone else* has to chip in. And don't tell me that doesn't happen – I've been reading posts on this topic for too long. Oh, how the "helpful" activists pressure all parents to contribute for gifts, the more extravagant, the better!)
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November 1, 2026 at 2:21 AM
Olesya
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Olesya I'm also the parent of two schoolchildren, and it's precisely as a parent that I'm glad there are enthusiasts. But I understand that feeling of "there's no one else." Fortunately, we have people, but if we didn't, I would step in, even though I hate it with every fiber of my being.
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November 1, 2026 at 2:21 AM
Katerina
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Katerina It might be possible not to bring anything, but it's inconvenient 🤷 Of course, the kids will manage at kindergarten without gifts, but it's more fun with them. The toilet paper they had was really poor quality, single-ply, but you can bring your own from home or use that. As for notebooks, we had workbooks too. Teachers don't really need them, since they aren't the ones writing in them. It's more convenient for the kids than doing everything in regular lined notebooks; it's faster and simpler, just like having pens and water. I'm talking about convenience. Some people have very undemanding acquaintances who don't buy anything extra at all and just use what was given at school)))
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November 1, 2026 at 2:27 AM
Pozdnyakova Yuliya
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Talantseva Evgeniya The system is, conditionally, the law. There is no law that mandates the existence of a parent committee. Moreover, as soon as the government specifically banned fees in kindergartens and schools, people themselves started to figure out how to bypass the law and collect money anyway. This is an initiative of the people themselves, which they cling to as a last hope for some reason. So, you don't even need to "fight": just say that you are not going to participate in the parent committee. It's just that no one has ever tried it this way, so they decided that it would lead to "arguments, quarrels, and unnecessary stress." Of course, this would lead to everyone who doesn't want to do it refusing to participate – which is perfectly normal. And either enthusiasts would eventually be found, or they would manage without a parent committee.
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November 1, 2026 at 2:27 AM
Elina
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Elina Is the governess seeing the kids for the first time? 😁
I once tried setting up a play tent, and it was so annoying. Even if I stood like a guard at the entrance, letting only one or two kids in at a time and timing them, I ended up taking it down. A teepee worked better – at least it has 3 walls and the entrance is the missing fourth wall, so everyone's visible. But they'd still knock it over, and I got tired of setting it up.
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November 1, 2026 at 2:33 AM
Pozdnyakova Yuliya
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Katerina Were they given out at school?!)) We weren't even given all the textbooks)) At our school, they consistently only gave us a list of what was needed for the next school year) Everyone just bought their own supplies (or didn't buy them, but again, it was their choice)). And now, the market for anything is much more accessible, but it seems like people can't even buy notebooks for their kids anymore unless you point out exactly which ones to buy)
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November 1, 2026 at 2:36 AM
Pozdnyakova Yuliya
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Elina Well, it's a whole commission then)) Strange they didn't order a tent from the UAE))
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November 1, 2026 at 2:39 AM
Svetlana Kovshova
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I can't imagine functioning without at least one parent representative. Teachers simply need help.
And the idea of 'protecting' them is laughable; our kids destroy everything, not the teachers.
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November 1, 2026 at 2:42 AM
Katerina
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Katerina So I went and bought them. At Modis, they only had identical blue t-shirts because those were the only ones in the right sizes and quantities. The problems started when the t-shirts were handed out to the kids and the parents were horrified by the color, lack of design, the price being too high, the price being too low, the wrong brand, etc. For New Year's, I learned from my mistake and decided to consult the group first, but it turned into the same circus, which is why I bailed. I realized I couldn't handle 5 years of this fun🤣
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November 1, 2026 at 2:42 AM
Katerina
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Katerina The list cannot be provided at this time. This is also corruption.
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November 1, 2026 at 2:45 AM
Pozdnyakova Yuliya
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Katerina Maybe I've worked with people for too long)) I calculate all of this in advance and I can't recall a time when I was wrong about people in this regard: there will be dissatisfied people, accusers, and outrage… But why do I need all of this? If there are people who are really passionate about such things — well, okay. And if no such people are found, then they can manage without a parent committee — this is better than forcing someone to carry something that doesn't need to be carried at all)
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November 1, 2026 at 2:51 AM
Pozdnyakova Yuliya
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Svetlana Kovshova I can totally imagine that! In fact, that's how I trained in school once, and now my daughter is training the same way. By the way, in my 11 years of schooling, I never once touched any curtains personally. And I don't remember any classmates who would have sneezed into them or damaged them in any other way. Desks, however, were definitely scratched, but for some reason, no one ever collected money for new desks. If a teacher needs help, they can ask in the general chat – if anyone is willing, they'll help without any committees.)
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November 1, 2026 at 2:57 AM
Katerina
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Katerina Well, I messed up once, and I'm not getting involved again 🤷 No, why without the parent committee? I bailed right away, they appointed a new one, and that was it. And by the way, the parents calmed down after my escape. Then there were only such showdowns with the graduation, and even then, COVID got them out of the *** days, so no one had time to quarrel to the death before everyone was sent home 🤣
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November 1, 2026 at 2:57 AM
Pozdnyakova Yuliya
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Katerina So the school provides all the textbooks, and atlases probably don't differ much from each other... And if some parents need to be told separately that pens/pencils/notebooks/etc. might unexpectedly be needed at school, then... 'if you need to explain, you don't need to explain' 😉
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November 1, 2026 at 3:18 AM
Inna
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Mariya Ours still have tea parties with yummy treats brought from home 😁
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November 1, 2026 at 4:48 AM
Ivanova anna
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lyubov So the teacher would have had to do it. Our caregivers did the repairs themselves, painted the walls, and then cleaned everything. Parents chipped in for the paint as best they could. Someone filed a complaint that the kindergarten wasn't allocated funds, or that the director was misusing allocated funds, but nothing came of it. They were told that funds were allocated, but unfortunately, there weren't enough. No one demanded anything; they asked for help if people could, voluntarily. It was stated that participation was voluntary – help if you want to, it's your right not to. And after that, the same parents put on a show about needing to buy stationery for the kids (paints, colored paper, glue, play-doh, etc.), demanding the kindergarten provide everything.
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November 1, 2026 at 4:54 AM
Ivanova anna
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Katerina Back in our day, we had to go to the outhouse in the winter at school, wearing our school shoes because we had to change shoes at school, and the locker room was closed. We'd have to dash to the bathroom to change. I've had chronic cystitis ever since. And we'd wipe ourselves with whatever we could find in our backpacks. There was one drinking fountain for the whole school, surrounded by older kids, so the younger ones couldn't get near it. Personally, I want better conditions for my children than we had.
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November 1, 2026 at 5:15 AM
Ivanova anna
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Katerina We vote. I always ask for parents' suggestions, and then we choose from the suggestions. But usually, there are practically no suggestions. I create a poll, and whichever option gets the majority vote, that's the one. And if you're fundamentally against it, you can buy it yourself.
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November 1, 2026 at 5:18 AM

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