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I wrote about this a while ago. It so happens that I have a best friend from university — she's great, and we've been close since then. We often hang out together with our daughters; her daughter is a year older than mine. My daughter doesn't want to spend time with or be friends with her (which is odd, because my daughter is usually very outgoing, but they just don't click). We've tried several times to bring them together, but nothing has worked. Now we're thinking of going on a trip together: my daughter and I got our visas, but my husband didn't get his yet — he still needs to apply. Even so, we could go away for at least a week since I have vacation time to use. But here's my question: how will it go? The two girls clash and really don't want to interact or play 🙈
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Ruzanna
I think that might not be a good idea. Would you like to consider other options?
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Nadezhda
It's fine if they don't play. Please don't set them against each other. Let everyone do what they want, in their own way.
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sofia namgaladze
I'm sorry to say this, but your vacation may be ruined, and you might even risk losing a friendship.
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ilhomova guzal
It's okay if they don't talk to each other.
They don't have to be friends.
Please don't force them to interact.
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Ahadova Elena
You may end up endlessly separating them, and your time off could turn into a nightmare.
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natalya
Calmly and gently explain to the children ahead of time — and repeat it more than once — what will happen and what you expect from them.
They don't have to play together; the most important thing is that they don't fight or pick on each other.
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natalya
Ruzanna It's perfectly fine to spend time with your friend without the children. You don't have to include the kids — you can leave your daughter with her dad or with a nanny and go for a walk or simply enjoy some time together.
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Olga Dudkina
That was a bad idea — we’ve been through this before. In the end, the daughter began deliberately walking away and would tell her mother to her face, "I don’t want to talk to her; I don’t like her." I’m sorry that happened — that must have been painful.
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ilhomova guzal
ilhomova guzal I also have a best friend. Her son is my godson — he's three years younger than my daughter. He tends to get upset and cry whenever they try to hang out together. So we usually find separate activities for each child so they can enjoy themselves apart, and my friend and I still get to spend time together. It's okay — kids don't have to be friends just to make their moms happy.
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Nadezhda
Nadezhda Sometimes a person just irritates you, and nothing will change that. The best approach is to give them space. You can still go together, but don’t force your daughter to play with that girl — don’t say “go play with her” or pressure her.

My husband has four friends he grew up with. They all got married around the same time and their kids are similar ages, but that doesn’t mean the five of us wives enjoy spending time together. We talk when the whole group gets together, and that’s fine, but you can’t force friendships. The same applies here.
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Olga Dudkina
Olga Dudkina In the end, neither my daughter talks to her, nor do I speak with her mother. I'm sorry it came to this — it's awkward, and we've both kept our distance.
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Mariya Antonova
I didn't receive any text to correct or translate. If you intended to send something, it didn't come through—I only see '++++'. Please paste the text you'd like me to work on (including any emojis, special markers like >>>INDEX_X
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Mariya Antonova
Why force your daughter to be friends with someone she doesn't want to be friends with? It's okay for her to choose her own friends. 🤔
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Anna
Ruzanna Are you saying the only place to go for a walk and spend time with a friend is a club? There must be other options, right?
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Anna
It seems we're talking past each other — I'm talking about Foma, and you're talking about Yerema. You still haven't grasped the point of the question. 🤦️🤦️🤦️
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Mariya
She understood everything correctly and responded appropriately — just not in the way you would have preferred.
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Anna
Could you please respond kindly and simply, so that a two-year-old child would understand?
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Mariya
They answered you directly that, yes — she does talk with her husband's colleagues and the other wives, even when she doesn't really feel like it. That doesn't happen every day; it's more like once every 4–6 months.
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Mariya
She said she had been in the same room with people she found unpleasant—haven't you realized that yet? It's okay to be friends: the author simply has no one to leave her child with so she can take a break with a friend and her daughter. The girls are only four years old—sometimes they get along, sometimes they don't. Please don't let your imagination turn this into a story that the author's daughter is so disgusted by the other child that she would vomit.
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Anna
My advice: go, but don't try to push your friend's daughter on your daughter. Enjoy spending time with your friend. As you said, your daughter will find her own company, and your friend's daughter can find other things to do. That way, everyone will be happier.
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Mariya
A four-year-old will likely be okay — they can handle this, and nothing serious should happen.
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Mariya
Honestly, it seems like they just need to spend a week with their moms, not visit each other every day. Can't you see the difference? The author probably has no one to leave her daughter with; otherwise she could go out with her friend without bringing her 😁 Also, the fears about "clowns" and forced friendships feel exaggerated. Remember, kids might argue one day and be friends the next — there's no need to turn that into a three-act tragedy.
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Svetlana
Yes — how else do you see it? Some children are more outgoing and others are less so. I’d like them to become friends and play together, and for us to have a short mini‑vacation. We already did something like this with a neighbor and it turned out amazing. I’m not worried about my child on the trip, but I want everyone to have a great time. I’m not trying to force anything — they’re already 4 and 5, you can’t push that. But this isn’t exactly just a vacation: I need to apply for a visa. I’m on the Moscow–Munich route; my friend is on the Moscow–Genoa (Italy) route.
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natalya
natalya They'll find new friends. That's okay — you can't force someone to like you.
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Anna
Please note: this applies to everyone, except your child.
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