A year ago, I started taking my son to English classes, in groups (4-6 kids his age), and the feedba…

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A year ago, I started taking my son to English classes, in groups (4-6 kids his age), and the feedback was good. I lasted a month, but towards the end, I started worrying a lot, and my eyes welled up. The last time I brought him – he cried 10 minutes into the lesson, and the teacher took him out, saying: “You need to see a psychologist. I don’t expect this in class. How are you planning to go to school?” At that moment, he seemed to have heightened senses, he was very anxious about everything. Before kindergarten, there were similar issues – but there, the teacher managed it and insisted he attend, participate, and perform. Throughout the year, by the way, he was involved in all the group activities, one of the leading kids in the performances. He participated in all the numbers and skits. We don’t really have good psychologists, as far as I know; I took him to the one at kindergarten. Her opinion was: yes, he has a "perfectionist syndrome," but mostly he manipulates adults, me. He’s very smart about it. And she was surprised that I pulled him from English and that the teacher said that; on the contrary, she said he should be encouraged to attend and explained things. He wasn't mistreated in English, the teacher was super sweet, I heard everything through the glass. And now school has started – no problems so far, but he already knows everything, nothing new, he answers, he goes on his own, he tries to initiate conversations with classmates he doesn’t know. BUT I NEED HIM TO GO TO ENGLISH, I’m scared for him in 2nd grade. Look for another school – no, it’s convenient here. But I’m bothered by this teacher; what if he remembers and she continues like that? She doesn’t scold him, she’s all sweet and then kicks him out... I’m thinking, should I go and warn her beforehand not to ask him anything for now? Or am I a foolish idiot and shouldn’t take him?
Не летом. У сына начинается первый класс, вот и думаю: может, сейчас что-то запланировать, чтобы деш… Actually, not about you, but about sons? I used to wear slightly loose ones, but I've been reading t…
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Agapova Inna
So why was he crying? Didn't want to do it, or what?
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Volgina Natalya
Agapova Inna They go over the topic and try to memorize words, and she quizzes them in a game. He answered at first, but maybe forgot something or got nervous in the next session, though he still answered. Then it was immediately like this. Like he was afraid he'd answer incorrectly or wouldn't know what to say.
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Agapova Inna
Agapova Inna Oh, in that case, of course I would go. In my opinion, it's a reason to go and overcome your fear, not a reason to avoid it.😀
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Abramova Yuliya
Drive, but explain to your son at home that he's learning and it's okay to make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, no one will scold him for it. On the contrary, he'll know what he needs to work on. My son also had a fear of doing something wrong, etc. I convinced him with these kinds of talks, and now everything is fine.
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Fedorova Karina
Where does a child get the "perfectionist syndrome" from? Sorry, but you are to blame for this. Start with yourselves first. And the child to English
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Volgina Natalya
Fedorova Karina Everyone's told me that already, not that I show it to him, but he probably senses it. And I noticed myself at the time that things had gotten more intense, maybe because of the classes or it just coincided. Now I'd be like, 'Let's try it,' but this instructor stops me… I also think that if she had behaved differently, we wouldn't have left. And (yes, it's bold, but still) I'm paying for this, I'm not here for free. He didn't have a tantrum or disrupt the lessons, he gave a little slack, but I was at the door and wouldn't have pushed him back
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Volgina Natalya
Abramova Yuliya We've been talking for about a year now, but I'm not sure. I tend to think (or hope) it was just a period of growing up.
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Volgina Natalya
Agapova Inna But the teacher's reaction is holding me back. In my opinion, she didn't quite behave correctly. I get that she doesn't want trouble, but he wasn't yelling or disrupting class, he just cried a little. I was at the door, I wasn't going to push him back inside while he was having a meltdown. Now, this is bothering me.
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Agapova Inna
Agapova Inna You can't control adults' behavior, you can only work with your child. If you fundamentally don't like the teacher, you can find another one.
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Marina
Ask your son if he wants to.
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sadykova nastya
News. You can also talk to the instructor nicely. Well, you cried, why bring it up right away. The child is quite adequate, just needs time to adapt.
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Volgina Natalya
Marina If you ask him, he doesn't want to go anywhere)) He wants to stay home with mom, play video games and chill on the couch. I talk to him, and he kind of agrees that it's necessary, that it's interesting there, etc., including that his friends are there, well, they were there last year, in the group. But he agreed last year too, and then it's like a snowball effect. I can't be sure this time either
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Mariya Glebova
I definitely wouldn't go to this instructor; she doesn't want to deal with it or dive deep. Find another one.
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Ekaterina Barinova
I'd suggest looking into it, but I'd probably go with a different instructor and maybe try a one-on-one session.
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Ekaterina Barinova
Marina What about sports? Try getting into sports, not to push yourself, but just to feel a little more confident
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Fedorova Karina
Fedorova Karina You should have handled it differently. You could have insisted on continuing the lesson. Discuss everything with your child at home.
And just because you're paying money doesn't mean you can throw your weight around. They can refuse service. For starters, work on yourself and your child. Are you sure you're not still instilling a "perfectionist syndrome" and fear of mistakes in your child?
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Volgina Natalya
Marina He's been in swimming classes since he was 4. About a year ago, the same thing started happening with swimming, and it was canceled a little before the English thing happened. He doesn't like to push himself, even though he's capable of a lot. Now the issue is English because it's more important for school. I'm willing to give up swimming, but we talked about how both English and swimming are necessary and that he would continue with both.
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Volgina Natalya
Fedorova Karina That's why I left, I didn't push it. What was the point of keeping it if she wasn't receptive? She just needs to follow the standard procedure, and that's it. It's simpler to remove the extras. I don't know if I'm doing everything right because such situations haven't happened again, but the other teachers are different.
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Volgina Natalya
Mariya Glebova The others are too far. It's either drive her myself or not go at all 😔
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Fedorova Karina
Fedorova Karina If English is important to you, then put your principles aside and send them to another school.
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